"I realized the feeling of never being seen, never having someone at school ask or mention how not okay I was, and the sheer invisibility I felt had to be addressed. I went back for more EMDR and was able to resolve that pretty quickly as well. Because that was a more complex and subtle trauma, it took a few months longer, but definitely less than a year."
"Moments that should've been joyful or just neutral became shaded by this heaviness. Simple activities, like catching up with friends or working on a project, suddenly felt so draining. It was as if a constant cloud hovered, casting shadows on my usual upbeat self."
"When I got home, I was burnt out and severely depressed. I couldn’t get out of bed for a long time. My fiance took me for walks, helped me bathe, and brought me bland foods. With the help of my psychiatrist and therapist, I was able to get on a course of therapy and medication that finally helped to bring me out of my major depressive episode. I wasn’t truly fully functional again until some time in 2011."
"I met my future husband when I was 26 but I never felt truly connected to him. I felt just as invisible to him as I did to everyone else. When we decided we wanted to have children, by some miracle, I was able to abstain from drinking just before and during my pregnancy. I coped by being very controlling, a shopaholic, and a workaholic. The twins were born when I was 31 and postpartum depression led me back to the only solution I thought I had: drinking"
"No one ever seemed to get it. It was never about being skinny. It was the sense of numbness, false sense of control, and comfort that kept me addicted to the high of this cycle. I was eventually hospitalized and then sent off to residential treatment."
"Our daughter noticed changes in me like I wasn’t as active in keeping our house as clean as I used to, and I realized that at my job I was getting more drained, and I am only working 4-5 hours a week. I came to know I had to work on myself, and my new med helps with the depression, and mostly the anxiety."
"Finding a therapist that I felt believed in my recovery completely shifted things for me. Which is why I became a therapist too. I felt like I wasn’t alone, that there was someone who understood and didn’t judge me for what I was going through. And she believed in me at times more than I believed in myself."
"The pregnancy ended up being even more high risk than my prior ones and I was placed in the hospital for six weeks. Depression and anxiety returned as my young daughter bounced between family and friends during my absence. I missed her terribly and my body ached without her presence, but I pushed forward knowing that each day I stayed pregnant brought us one day closer to our baby."
"No matter how much I’d accomplished, because my life wasn't excelling at the rate that I desired it to, I believed something was wrong with me. I would compare myself to others, and do things I wasn't interested in or enjoyed, just to be accepted, and in doing so I lost my identity and my ability to be my true authentic self."
"I was in a fog, so confused, and felt all over the place. I had to relearn myself when to anticipate these challenges occurring and plan for prevention, do more outreach for support and be really open with my partner about all of the above. This is really difficult to do all while trying to figure out what’s going on with your body and brain, and a new human to care for."