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Hello! Who are you?
I’m Nora Thomas-Dib, lead visionary and founder of a purpose-driven boutique PR / marketing agency based in the US. I started my business when I was 25 after being fired from the most toxic work environment I’ve been a part of during my professional career.
For context, my go-to question when interviewing is “What initiatives do you have in place to ensure an inclusive work environment?” I should’ve walked out of the office when the interviewer said, “we don’t see color here.” Yikes. This is one example of a situation that ignited a lot of depth within myself to make my presence known in whatever capacity that may be.
I’m a coffee loving, adventurous 27-year-old who is a digital nomad currently based in Algeria. Before arriving here to make a quick stop to visit family, I spent the last seven months in Europe eating delicious food, exploring hidden gems and getting to know some of the most incredible people. I even met some soul ties along the way.
If you would’ve asked me if I was happy a year ago, I would’ve said no. In relation to society’s idea of happiness, things were going well in my life. I worked for myself, traveled when I wanted, had a beautiful home in Colorado, had loving parents, friends and a partner, but I was waking up everyday unfulfilled and like something was missing. I knew a big shift had to happen in order to live the life I deeply desired.
What is your struggle and when did it start?
I’m a very in-tune person. I wholeheartedly believe in mind-body connection and it took me a while to get there but as I started to pay more attention to what was coming up in my body, that’s where I could reflect on my inner child wounds and un-serving patterns. If I were to name the struggle specifically, I would pin it as worthlessness. The symptoms that I have been and am currently working through are the feelings of anxiety, self doubt, self hate, distrust, lack of confidence, chronic overthinking and insecurity.
My struggles with unworthiness came from deep childhood wounds which stemmed from generational trauma on both sides of my family. I grew up in a multicultural home—one parent a Colorado native with UK roots and an immigrant father from Algeria.
From a young age, I felt very different from my peers because of my unique cultural background. Although I lived with both of my parents growing up, I knew close to nothing about my North African culture and what I did know were the ignorant racial assumptions that my father was a terrorist.
Islamophobia is present all over the world and it was very complex trying to understand it as someone who had never been to the native land, and as someone who held oppressive thoughts for my own being and own people.
A common narrative I’ve heard with people who are multicultural like me is, we question our validity. Culture is such a big part of us and we can’t define it because we’re the individual who is “different” amongst our peers. It affects a variety of other areas of our lives and how we move day-to-day.
Overtime, this issue became worse because my relationships with my parents shifted in a way that I didn’t like. I was mad at them for being so different from one another and increasingly more frustrated as I noticed their neglectful parenting styles whether it came to boundaries or emotional support.
As I came into adulthood, the more this was shoved in my face over and over and over again. Especially when I moved out—I was able to directly see my shadows because of their dynamic and how the lack of real presence made it difficult to move through the world when I removed myself from the chaos.
I functioned from a state of fight or flight from a very young age and no one tells you how to operate when your world suddenly has space to be calm. I’m incredibly grateful for the tranquility I do get to experience, and it’s a challenging transition when you move into your maturity. You’re constantly relearning and it’s something that impacts me everyday.
How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?
It wasn’t until I moved out at 24 that I realized how badly this affected my life. I was enraged during my time growing up and even more so when I moved out. I even blocked out the majority of my youth which I also didn’t realize until I distanced myself. When I moved out, I felt like I learned everything from scratch.
As mentioned, I grew up at a young age but thinking about that during my adulthood felt so insane because I was dealing with real-life things like paying bills, making life-changing decisions, etc. I cried every morning when I woke up for work, I was deeply in my thoughts every day and had no time for pure leisure. I was too worried about making sure I worked enough so I didn’t end up in debt or on state assistance programs like I was on during all of my youth.
Those thoughts overtook my brain every day and I was not happy at all. Severely depressed I would say.
I feel like it was apparent to those around me that I was struggling mentally because I talked about my issues, but I’m not sure the severity was understood. My friendship dynamics changed a lot and the relationships I was a part of didn’t fully feel like me. I was working all the time and that’s what people knew me for rather than being the fun, outgoing person that I used to be in high school and university. I would say my friendships were slightly affected because I found myself dumping on them and only found reciprocation from few. They never ran away, I just felt like I had less to talk to them about because depression was always relevant and I would talk about how I was just “OK” a lot of the time.
Because the problems I experienced took the brain capacity that they did, I felt there was no hope. I felt like the issues were too big to tackle and I was never going to find a way to escape the thoughts or make peace with childhood trauma.
The worst part is I’ll tell myself that people don’t care and they’re bothered by my feelings even when they want to support me. It’s difficult to believe that to be true because of the neglect I’ve experienced which just repeats the cycle.
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Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?
YES. TRAVEL.
But there’s a backstory. I saved money for two years before I started traveling full-time. And during the time I was saving, fulfilling my travel dream was only a figment of my imagination. I moved out of my parents’ house in 2021 and this is when my world came crashing down.
The 30-minute drive between my family and I was just enough space to start untangling the enmeshed relationships I had with the people physically closest to me. Through the time that I moved out until I began traveling in early 2024, I spent time questioning my reality, crying, taking walks, practicing yoga, eating / cooking mindfully, solo hiking, spending a lot of time outdoors, etc. These small moments of healing are what allowed me to really push myself to solo travel which is what changed my life forever.
I experienced first-hand how travel is your greatest teacher. In the first eight months of my escapades, I learned an incredible amount about my confidence and I became a problem solver. If you can successfully put yourself in uncomfortable (but good) situations thousands of miles away from home and make 100% of your own decisions, I’m convinced you can do anything.
Travel has taught me I’m more than capable of doing what I set my mind to which healed a lot of wounds for me. It showed me that I am worthy. Even though external validation, something that really supported me was the amount of times I heard you’re brave from random connections I made from people who weren’t nomads.
For example, I was in Scotland sitting at a bus stop to travel from Edinburgh to Glasgow for the day. I asked an older woman and her grandson to the left of me if I was at the correct station. We began chatting and I told her I was spending the summer in the UK and I came to Scotland for Edinburgh Fringe. She asked who else I was with and I told her just myself. She said she wished solo travel was something she did in her younger days and told me how brave I was. Her grandson looked at me with a little sparkle in his eye. A woman on the right of me overheard our conversation and said “you’re so brave, I’m very impressed and wish you all the best in your travels.” This conversation holds more weight than these individuals will ever know.
Slightly naive, but before I started traveling, my TikTok #fyp and Instagram Discover Page was all content from nomads so I was under the impression long-term solo travel was way more common than it is. Digital nomadism is increasing in popularity quickly but it’s said that only 20% of nomads are traveling full time whereas 80% of nomads stay in one place for 3-9 months of the year.
About three months into my solo travel journey is when I started to fully embody that I made the right decision. Solo traveling is a tool to accelerate healing and expand your horizons. It also helps you create a more global perspective of the world because of the humans you meet. You start to understand that everyone really does have something they are going through meaning the wisdom you receive expands greatly.
What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
The struggle I’m working through regarding unraveling my unworthiness takes effort every day and in multiple ways. That said, it’s something I’m happy to do because I notice differences from where I was when I started therapy 9 years ago. I know I talk about travel a lot (because it has drastically changed my life forever and will continue to do so) but below are some tangible ways I tackle the creative (and anxious) storyteller in my brain.
Therapy
Therapy isn’t for everyone but for me, it’s my love language. I do talk therapy now, but before the pandemic, I did Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy which was super helpful in diving into my trauma. If you don’t know what EMDR is, it was created for war veterans as a way to help heal their PTSD.
When I was doing EMDR, I was able to process things that I had no idea were bothering me because they came up as the hand buzzers that are part of the therapeutic practice went off. An example of this was, once I went to therapy to talk about how I was angry with my dad and when we used the buzzers, something that came up was about a girl in elementary school who told me my arms had too much hair.
The dots connected because I struggled with my North African identity for a long time and I potentially had “hairier” arms because of my cultural roots.
Wrote 100 Things I Love About Myself
This one was tough but I went to an event where a speaker challenged us to write 100 things we like about ourselves once we got home. As she spoke I thought, this woman has a lot of confidence that I could do something like that, there’s no way. But her confidence stuck with me and I started when I got home. I spent about an hour coming up with 50 traits and then stalled.
At first, I kept only thinking physical traits like I love my smile. Then I started thinking about what I found quirky about myself such as I love that I will do all the research in the world to find the best coffee shop in my area. Feeling slightly defeated, I put the 50 traits away for the night.
When I came back the next day, I got to 75. This time I added in, I like the way the front of my ankles look. Strange I know, but hey, it brought some personal awareness to my body that I hadn’t thought about before. Again, put it away for the night. The next evening, not only did I complete the 100 traits, but I was able to find 117 in total.
I started to get more expansive and creative into my personality. I was so proud that I hung it up next to an area in my room that I walked past every day so I didn’t forget. Even if I didn’t read it, it took me back to a place of thinking positively about myself.
Daily Walks
A lake in my old neighborhood used to be one of my favorite places to go to, to process. I would go everyday after I finished work as a way to reset. As a digital nomad, that looks different now but I do mostly walk everywhere while I explore the views of whichever city I’m in—it’s pure magic.
Getting outside is important and using movement as a tool to get thoughts out of your body is helpful for moving through present issues.
Intentional Leisure
Intentional leisure also supported me such as yoga and creating a deep love for cooking (what I mean by cooking is elevating really basic meals to be honest).
Yoga gave me the space to be in community with like-minded individuals, put thought into action and put life into perspective. Cooking was embedded into my routine and it’s something I could get really creative with.
Before moving to Europe, every Sunday I spent meal prepping so I was nourished for the week ahead and making coffee and breakfast each morning became time to spend with myself before I headed into the busy workday. These learned habits are things that I take along with me while I’m traveling which supports my mental health and daily grounding.
Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?
When it comes to my mental health, I feel most comfortable talking to my therapist about it, as you can assume.
Additionally a few of my close friends who I know specifically are currently working on their mental health through modalities like therapy, yoga, nature walks, etc. My parents in some capacity as well—I slightly lean into their wisdom since they’ve experienced more life than me and I’ve come to learn that there is immense value in learning from elders. My mom has been to therapy and knows the benefits as an empath where as my dad is a you-can’t-change-outcomes-so-why-dwell kind of person. There are benefits to both which provide different support when needed for specific situations.
I actually think all of the people closest to me are aware of my struggle with mental health. Some more than others and only few are aware of the severity that I feel the issues at.
I’ve known that I’ve struggled with mental health for a long time now but it wasn’t until my last partner that I realized I had the bad habits I did because it was brought to my attention. My poor mental stability resulted in me not eating, working way too much (either because it’s something I could control or using it as a way to prove my worth), deep insecurity, etc.
Close relationships are often the times your shadows are brought to the forefront which is difficult but I commend myself for being open and honest to address what I needed and getting support in that.
If I know someone will be receptive, I don’t have a hard time sharing my personal struggles. I sometimes feel as if I overshared and there is a time and a place to be open, but I’ve noticed when I am open, it builds a deep level of trust for the person I am speaking to and I love being able to be that person in someone’s life.
Perhaps a light and resource for people who push supporting their mental health away—I’m someone who shows them it’s possible, and hard, yes, but a necessary component for living the life you want to live.
If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?
Don’t underestimate the power of a walk.
A study published by Springer Nature found that nature-based walking significantly improves your mood, reduces stress and alleviates anxiety. I’ve learned that walking may be the most mindless activity to participate in to support your mental health, but moving your body in a way you enjoy such as yoga, running or dancing can be really supportive as well.
My therapist encourages me to take my feelings and envision them leaving my body through physical activity. Changing your scenery and exercising for example drastically changes your brain chemistry which helps you to move from one emotional state to another. Walking is an accessible activity to most and it’s more than just being active physically, but an intentional way to move through thoughts you’re having that affect your emotions.
It takes practice and consciousness, but finding your mind-body connection is important for healing.
What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?
- Being able to communicate with my therapist at any time via text and meeting with her virtually.
- Music + live music: Sofar Sounds has been a great resource for me. The concerts they host are affordable and in 400 major cities around the world—sometimes when I find myself feeling down, I’ll go to one of these concerts with a friend or by myself to change my scenery and do something I enjoy.
- Plant medicine: Allows me to process my thoughts in a different way.
- Self help / comedy podcasts: Some of my favorites are We Can Do Hard Things, Diary of a CEO, Call Her Daddy and Giggly Squad. Each one offers some inspiration or a good laugh to move my mind to a state of empowerment.
- Supportive Instagram pages: @the.holistic.psychologist @ayeshaophelia @mixed_in_america. These pages show me that I am not alone and they express how I am feeling in a graphical way.
- One Line A Day journal book: Allows you to reflect on your day just using one sentence
Where can we go to learn more about you?
You can learn more about me and what I do professionally at norathomas.co. Follow along on my professional journey on LinkedIn and say hi on Instagram @norathomas_ or nora.wanders.
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