"I met my future husband when I was 26 but I never felt truly connected to him. I felt just as invisible to him as I did to everyone else. When we decided we wanted to have children, by some miracle, I was able to abstain from drinking just before and during my pregnancy. I coped by being very controlling, a shopaholic, and a workaholic. The twins were born when I was 31 and postpartum depression led me back to the only solution I thought I had: drinking"
"After a very emotionally taxing month for me and my fiance, I had an actual mental breakdown. Unable to stop crying, I voluntarily admitted myself to my local psych ward and stayed for a couple of days, ultimately being released after assessment. I realized that I didn’t want to die, I just didn’t want to feel the way I was feeling."
"I can’t begin to explain the depth of hatred I had for myself. I was working 80, sometimes 100 hours a week with overtime and I still couldn’t make it. Why? I had no friends. Why? I had zero prospects of a relationship and felt zero love from anyone. Why? I hated myself."
"It's hard to feel happy when it's your own head calling you a failure. Since then I've been researching ways to help me feel better, and improve in all aspects of life. I know my journey is not complete, but when you've been dealing with all of this stuff since you were five, you tend to pick things up."
"I isolated myself even when I was present. I became really good at hiding what was going on in my head. I pretended to be happy, mostly because I didn’t want anyone to know I wasn’t. And I knew it wasn’t anything that anyone else was doing, I just felt so unfulfilled."