Finding Happiness At Sea As A Yacht Captain After Overcoming Depression and Anxiety

Hello! Who are you?

Hello! I am Captain Kelly J. Gordon, a superyacht captain, public speaker, and a social media influencer.

I grew up in Indiana, on a farm in a small town, and in school I faced quite a bit of bullying. At the time, I thought I would work on the farm so I left school. It was on the farm that I developed the work ethic and drive that shaped my life and career.

I worked for a few years, but I felt pulled to do something else, and I always loved science and teaching, so I went back to school and became a chemistry professor. It was not until I was 23 that I saw the ocean for the first time, and when I saw a yacht, I realized the driving mechanism was similar to that of a tractor, and I realized I could do this. I worked hard, studied hard, became certified as a captain and since then my thirst for adventure and my constant desire to level up in life has led me to where I am today.

I speak passionately about mental health in the yachting industry, as a female leader and a leader in general, and just in life overall as I have had my own struggles with my mental health. I have had extremely low moments through it all where I even contemplated taking my own life, but I recognized I needed help, I went to therapy and I did the work that was able to lead me to where I am today.

In my 39th year of life, I was able to say “I am the happiest I have ever been” and I continue to say that year after year (and I am almost 43).

Currently, I live wherever the yacht is. Sometimes that is in Palm Beach, Florida and sometimes it is in the Bahamas, the Caribbean, the Great Lakes, the Mediterranean, or somewhere in between. I am lucky to be able to experience this all with my boyfriend who is also my engineer. And yes, it is tricky living and working together in a small space, but we make it work! I am just generally thrilled to be able to live my dreams, to travel and to inspire people to live their best and happiest lives.

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My struggles with generalized anxiety disorder and chronic depression began when I was pretty young. I remember going to the doctor at 6 years of age with an ulcer from worrying so much. I think it was largely genetic, but it became situational living with an abusive father. Low self-esteem and low self-worth marked my youth, both in school and with my father, but thankfully my mother was amazing, and I am grateful to her as she is the reason I am the person that I am today.

I have put in a lot of hard work to learn the tools needed to combat my anxiety and depression so while I do still get a little anxious or even depressed from time to time, I have learned to manage it. While it doesn’t impact me as much as it used to, I still work at it every single day. That will be lifelong, and taking care of your mental health should be a lifelong goal for everyone!

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I planned and somewhat attempted my suicide, so I’d say it severely impacted my happiness. I didn’t want to live anymore, and I didn’t care what it would do to those I left behind. That was how I knew it was severe.

I was so great at hiding it that no one knew. When I sat at the kitchen table and revealed to my family that I wanted to commit suicide, they were in shock. They rallied in their support of me though, and through the struggle, I saw the future could be brighter.

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Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

When I began opening up about my struggles, everything turned around. I spent 26 years struggling, and I would say 100% of the reason I am happy today is because I finally took the actions needed to turn things around.

I left an unhappy marriage, went into extensive counseling/therapy and tried four different antidepressants until I found the right one. My current happiness is a direct result of the work I put in and continue to put in.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

For anyone struggling with their mental health, I recommend going to therapy. It works. It truly helped me, and I know there used to be a stigma associated with it, but that has changed, and there should be no reason for anyone not to give it a try to help them find their happiness.

My final piece of advice would be that if a situation is making you unhappy – a marriage, a job, a family member – anything – change the situation. You can leave, you can stop speaking to someone (yes, even a parent or another family member), and you can do so free of guilt because you are in charge of your own happiness, and life is too short to choose anything different for yourself. I know the change is hard, but it is so worth it.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

While I was struggling with my mental health I did not feel comfortable talking about it with friends, family, or my team at work. I wanted to be viewed as polished, perfect and put together.

However, now I share it all openly with the world in the hopes that my story encourages others to live their best life. I think it helps people know that I was there too, but I got through it, and they can too.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Do the work, go to therapy, see the doctor. Putting in the hard work has been so worth it, and I am truly living my best life now. I want the same for everyone!

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can connect with me at @Captain_kellyjgordon on Instagram, TikTok and LinkedIn, or you can visit my website. On my site, you can find the link for my podcast, Uncharted: Conversations with Captain Kelly, which is also available on Spotify and other podcast streaming services.

💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

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