"The part that was hardest to deal with was waking up every day, for months, going through your day, and doing the bare minimum. Because I just could not find a reason to do anything. I did not have the energy to live my life and that crushed me the most."
"What if it could prevent someone else’s journey from taking the destructive twists and turns mine had? What if it could help caregivers and medical providers anticipate the road ahead and help the survivor navigate? What if MY journey could have been a little smoother because I had read or heard about someone else’s journey? Before I knew it, I was on a path to publishing."
"At my worst, I would hurt myself so I had an escape and a release. There are points where I feel so out of control in my body that even breathing is a task. I hold my breath. In truth, I have night terrors about what my funeral would be like, who would show up? Would I be missed? Would people come out of the woodwork when I was gone? If I left this body here would I hurt less? I battle every single day with loss. Your mind begins to play tricks on you."
"No one can change your life for you and help you. You have to make an effort to get better. It can be very difficult when you're depressed, but you have to take at least one small step every day. Start with what is easiest for you."
"If you struggle with social anxiety, the best way to overcome it would be to take small steps to face it. Go to places that make you uncomfortable and take a look around. You’ll realize no one is looking at you."
"Accutane came on the market in 1982, I began taking it in 1985, and in 1986 I was feeling very depressed. Accutane had a number of side effects, but the one that impacted me the most was depression; the stats say only 1% of people will have MDD while on Accutane. I was that 1 percent."
"I isolated myself even when I was present. I became really good at hiding what was going on in my head. I pretended to be happy, mostly because I didn’t want anyone to know I wasn’t. And I knew it wasn’t anything that anyone else was doing, I just felt so unfulfilled."
"I constantly compared my body to everyone else's. And I viewed my perfectly healthy body as “bad” and not good enough. I was self-conscious of what I wore and always strived to wear clothes that hid my insecurities. I didn’t allow myself to wear clothes I loved because they highlighted a perceived flaw in my body."
"When I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I was elated to finally have a label for my issues. After suffering through the symptoms for my entire life, there was finally an answer as to why I had experienced them."
"I started to experience an anxiety disorder, an eating disorder (I lost around 10 kg), depression, trust issues, and other mental problems as well. I was becoming this person that I didn’t recognize anymore, all while drifting away from being the person I wanted to be."