"I met my future husband when I was 26 but I never felt truly connected to him. I felt just as invisible to him as I did to everyone else. When we decided we wanted to have children, by some miracle, I was able to abstain from drinking just before and during my pregnancy. I coped by being very controlling, a shopaholic, and a workaholic. The twins were born when I was 31 and postpartum depression led me back to the only solution I thought I had: drinking"
"Being sober or being 'okay' isn't about becoming perfect. A lot of people expect to look better or earn more or fall in love and so on. Sure, it can happen - but those are not pillars to build yourself on, because they can fade. You need to do an inventory with yourself or a therapist, look into who you are that brings you such shame or guilt, and start confronting that."
"At 16, I found my drug of choice, methamphetamine, which I began shooting up at 17. I had a few years of somewhat reduced drug use for the first years of college, then slid back due to a multi-assailant rape and abusive boyfriend. I lived in increasing misery until I was 32."