Hello! Who are you?
Hi, my name is Ayman, I’m from Morocco, and I’m a Computer Science student (currently in my 4th year of studies). I'm single for the time being.
I consider myself to be happy. Even though I went through some bad things at the relatively young age of 22, I'm very grateful for what I have, and most importantly, who I am now.
I am a really active person. I've practiced all kinds of sports all my life, from karate and running to football and swimming. I also enjoy playing chess!
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What is your struggle and when did it start?
It started after my first relationship of 3 years ended. After this break-up, I wasn’t aware of the bad things that I allowed to happen in my life.
I was blinded and I only saw the good and neglected everything that seemed bad. I didn't face the reality of the situation.
This resulted in many different issues: I started to experience an anxiety disorder, an eating disorder (I lost around 10 kg), depression, trust issues, and other mental problems as well.
I was becoming this person that I didn’t recognize anymore, all while drifting away from being the person I wanted to be.
I tried going to a psychotherapist for a few sessions but that didn’t work out for me as intended.
How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?
3 months into the break-up, I still struggled a lot. I had all kinds of mental problems. I wasn’t able to sleep at night and didn’t feel happy at all throughout this period.
This low point was during the holidays, so I was staying home all day long. Not a good situation.
Everyone around me felt like something was wrong with me, yet no one could help me. And I was painfully aware of this. At some point, I realized that the only person that can help me is myself and only myself.
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Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?
At one point, I had a realization. Time will continue to move on regardless of what I do. And as long as I don't take action, my situation will not change but time will move on. I can wait for something miraculous to happen, but that won't lead to any results.
After this realization, I started to actively think of solutions. I embraced the mindset of an engineer: I initiated my problem-solving mindset and dedicated myself to finding a way out of my struggles.
What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
So after looking for solutions, I found 3 things that helped me to really change my situation.
First, I started making time to study things that can help my mind think. Specifically, I started thinking more of solutions, rather than problems.
Second, I started going to the gym, every single day. This was really important because the habit of working out and unloading negative energy trickled down into many other aspects of my life.
Lastly, I started to nourish my soul. Maybe some of you might not agree with me due to the fact that we all have different beliefs. But for me, this really helped:
I become close to God (Allah). My relationship with him was a priority for me and I was feeling more energized than ever. I started reading the Quran every day, at least 5 pages per day.
As a result, my mindset switched significantly. I saw positive things in everything that surrounded me, even if it was the most negative thing on earth.
When you thank God for everything and become grateful for everything, everything becomes easier.
Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?
At first, I talked about this with my small family. After that, I told some close friends about it (but not with too many details). However, I found out that this didn't help me as much because I felt like no one understood me.
Therefore, I started talking to God about this. This changed everything for me.
If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?
I wish I had someone to tell me that the real problem is often your mindset. Therefore, you should really just focus on your thinking rather than seeing others as the problems.
And most importantly, learn to forgive yourself!
What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?
- Atomic Habits: This book helped me build up good habits & break bad ones.
- Better Ideas - YouTube: This channel helped me with the same thing as the book.
- Jeff Nippard - YouTube: This channel helped me stay on point with my gym workouts.
- Matt D'Avella - YouTube: This channel helped me start changing for good.
- Micha Fit - YouTube: This channel helped me with the gym as well.
- Mustafa Hosny - YouTube: This channel helped me realize what I was doing wrong and fix it.
- Tony Robbins - YouTube: This channel helped me grow.
Where can we go to learn more about you?
💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I've condensed the information of 100's of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇
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