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Ever since I started tracking my happiness, I have seen a lot of different scales being used. My method of tracking happiness uses a scale from 1 to 10. Over the years, I have received a lot of questions and comments about this happiness scale. There are many reports, platforms, surveys and apps that track happiness on a different scale! This article discusses why the Tracking Happiness method is based on a happiness scale from 1 to 10.
“My struggles with unworthiness came from deep childhood wounds which stemmed from generational trauma on both sides of my family. I grew up in a multicultural home—one parent a Colorado native with UK roots and an immigrant father from Algeria. From a young age, I felt very different from my peers because of my unique cultural background.”
“I’ve always been good at putting on a brave face, especially at work-related events, so most people had no idea I was struggling. But inside, the anxiety would build up, and I often felt so overwhelmed that I had to leave early or run out after only a short time. Eventually, my anxiety reached a point where I’d either cancel last minute or break down in tears before even getting to the event.”
“My anxiety was out of control. My system “was constantly overloaded. There were days when I couldn’t function. It’s hard to admit, but some days, I didn’t enjoy being a mom…and I hated that! I wanted nothing more than to be the parent they needed. Unfortunately, I had no idea what that looked like. And they couldn’t tell me.”
“For the longest time, I tried to keep it to myself. I felt this need to stay strong, to keep up the front, especially because people around me relied on me. I worried that showing what I was going through would let others down or make them see me differently. So, I put on a brave face, thinking I could power through on my own.”
“After a while, I decided to try psychotherapy. But eventually the therapist used sexual abuse as his “therapeutic intervention,” and my suicidal desires came back in full force. I lived on the sharp edges of suicide for several years. The only thing that stopped me from taking my own life was my love for my children.”
“Eventually, I ended up telling her that I was gay and that I was attracted to men, which obviously ended our marriage. This was a very difficult and painful time for me, living a double life and acting in ways that felt destructive, harmful and painful, both to her and I. It was a huge relief when I finally was able to acknowledge my sexual orientation both internally to myself, as well as to my then-wife. However, this struggle was just the beginning because I now had to tell my family and friends about my orientation.”
“The turning point came when I received my diagnosis at the specialized treatment facility. I reached a point where I needed clarity about my situation, so I took the necessary steps to take time away from family and company to pursue those answers. My time at the facility and finally understanding what was happening to me gave me a sense of relief and validation.”
“I became interested in health and wellness and started to learn about healthy foods, nervous system exercises, energy, etc. And the same pattern of control started again disguised as health and wellness. Because of the way I was treated growing up and as a young adult, I felt there was something deeply wrong with me- like I was not loveable as I was. I needed to control my body to feel like I was enough, to make myself loveable so that I could be happy.”
“While I have a great support system, I did not feel like they truly understood what it felt like to be me. I really wished I could talk to people unfiltered about how sad I was and how I did not see a light at the end of the tunnel. I was still on my medicine and in therapy, but I had quit my fancy finance job, ended my relationship and urgently needed to work on myself.”