You are here: Home » Case studies

My Struggle with Depression While Finding Strength Through Mental Health Advocacy

“While I have a great support system, I did not feel like they truly understood what it felt like to be me. I really wished I could talk to people unfiltered about how sad I was and how I did not see a light at the end of the tunnel. I was still on my medicine and in therapy, but I had quit my fancy finance job, ended my relationship and urgently needed to work on myself.”

Struggled with:
Depression

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Stephanie Kaiser and I live in Florida in the United States. I recently started my own business which is all about finding your community, especially around mental health (see saymoreco.com). I used to work in finance but left that because it was a very toxic work environment and with all of the polarization in the US, I felt my skills could be put towards more meaningful work.

Do I consider myself to be happy? Oh jeez. I have always felt like happiness is a moment in time, similar to how I feel about joy. I do not experience it for very long periods and it does feel super elusive to me if that makes sense. I work towards peace in my own brain most days and that seems to be a challenge enough!

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I was diagnosed with depression when I was twenty-two but I had always felt that way. I always felt more sad than my sisters. I always felt more emotionally impacted by life and various milestones. When I decided to seek real treatment beyond therapy like medicine, I was terrified.

Once I started anti-depressants I realized I did not have to suffer just for the sake of suffering. If my life could be easier, why would I not try that? My friends and family told me I seemed happier and I was “quick to smile more” which is how I knew I had made the right decision.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

There were two very distinct moments in my life when my depression was so bad that I did not know what would happen next. I can look back now and understand that many events and feelings were compounding over a long time to lead me to this dark point. I was not doing a good job of taking care of myself and I think my friends noticed I was down but did not know how down I really was. 

One big part of my depression is hopelessness. While I have a great support system, I did not feel like they truly understood what it felt like to be me. I really wished I could talk to people unfiltered about how sad I was and how I did not see a light at the end of the tunnel. I was still on my medicine and in therapy, but I had quit my fancy finance job, ended my relationship and urgently needed to work on myself.

👉 Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I had a lot of guilt and shame around leaving my job and worried about what I would do with my time now that my schedule was wide open.

I cried a lot, and I journaled a lot, but one thing that really started to help was just getting through whatever hour, whatever day I was in. I stayed really present and let myself do what felt right on a day to day basis. Sometimes that was hiking, sometimes that was staying in bed all day.

I noticed time kept passing and I congratulated myself on each moment I did not crumble. I kept saying to myself, just make it six months from now and things will be better, I just know it. I even made a note on my refrigerator that my only job was to “hang in there.”

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I am privileged enough to be able to afford to take time off. That really helped me center myself and check in often to see what I was feeling and why. If you can take time off, please do. I would not shy away from telling your trusted support system exactly how you feel.

It may be uncomfortable for them but if you have to live with your mental health struggle, then they can live with the discomfort of hearing about them. Keep them in the loop and let them know what your safety plan is, i.e. what you promise to do if things get really bad in your head. For example, you will call your therapist, book a plane ticket home, etc. 

Again what helped me the most was being patient with myself and unlearning any ill feelings I had towards myself. At the end of the day, I get to decide if I am a good person and I am of value. No one else gets to tell me otherwise. Learn to forgive yourself and just be better in the future. That is all we can do, time helps tremendously.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Yes, I have! I have been very open with my friends and family. They have taken some time to truly understand me better and I feel more connected to them than ever. Of course, initially, it was challenging but I told them I have always been this way, it was just a matter of letting them know about it.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I wish someone would have told me that your relationship with yourself is the most important thing. If you’re in the wrong crowd or relationship, it is really easy to start to dislike yourself because of other people.

Oftentimes the wrong people will make you feel that way no matter who you are. It takes a long time to get out of those unhealthy relationships to learn to like yourself again and trust yourself. Be patient, you are so much more than what anyone else says. And you have no idea what is in store, in the best way possible.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

  • If You Feel Too Much by Jamie Tworkowski: This book helped me realize that I am not crazy and everything I feel is normal. People are feelers to our core and we should use that as a bridge to others, not to silence us. 
  • We Can Do Hard Things Podcast – This podcast is all about doing the hard things day in and day out, and also taking lots of breaks. So many great topics covered.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about my story here on my business platform. You can find me on Instagram and LinkedIn as well.

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer AuthorLinkedIn Logo

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

Leave a Comment