Lately, I have been obsessed with memorising my own memories. This obsession slowly entered my mind almost 5 years ago. I was 20 years old at the time, and I wanted to make sure I'd NEVER lose any of my memories ever again. My life was about to get slightly more interesting, and I wanted to be able to reflect on this period and read about it later when I was old. This is where I began journaling and tracking my happiness.
But what about all those years BEFORE I started journaling?
I wanted to find a way to "immortalise" my memories from before that period. You know, a way for me to NEVER remember them. That's when I came up with the idea of "filling in the blanks".
Filling in the blanks
What is this idea about? What exactly is "filling in the blanks".
Well, ever since I started journaling and tracking happiness, I have immortalised pretty much every memory that happened on these days. If I ever have trouble remembering something from 4 years ago, I'll just open my happiness tracking journal and there it is: I probably covered this memory in all its detail and glory in my journal!
I obviously don't have this daily data for every day before I started journaling. Or at least, not in writing.
Most of these memories still exist somewhere in my head, though.
I want to write them down before I forget about them completely. I want to write down these memories as I stumble upon them, to slowly fill a memory journal which contains memories from the time before I started journaling!
And that's what I call "filling in the gaps". I want to slowly fill my memory journal so that I eventually have a timeline of what (I think) happened to my life at any point in time.
My memory journal and how it works
My memory journal is actually REALLY simple.
Whenever I stumble upon a memory that I haven't yet recorded, I simply open up my memory journal and write it down.
There are only 3 columns I fill in here:
- The approximate date of the memory
- My age at the time
- Obviously the memory itself
That's it. Pretty easy, right?
But it gets better.
I use Google Spreadsheets to keep track of my memories. It's extremely convenient to use, as I can access it from my smartphone, tablet and laptop. It saves the data in the cloud instantaneously, and I never have to worry about losing my precious memories.
So as soon as I stumble upon a memory, I whip out my smartphone and log it all in the matter of seconds! It really is that easy! 🙂
As a result, I now have a digital memory journal that contains a couple of hundred rows of memories, ranging from small and vague memories to long and detailed recollections!
I have also visualised my memory journal in a timeline, which I think is a cool idea. This allows me to easily recognise the areas of my life which I haven't yet memorised as well. This also shows what I mean with "filling in the blanks". I want to cover this entire timeline with memories!
The size of these bubbles is determined by the amount of words I've used to describe the memories. A small bubble is therefore a relatively vague memory without a lot of details.
I started tracking my happiness at the start of December 2013, which is why the bubbles are WAY bigger here. By journaling, I'm automatically saving all my memories for later with a lot of detail. 🙂
But you can see here how relatively few memories I have of my life before I started journaling. There is SO much of my life which I have forgotten about, and that's something I really hate.
What is the earliest memory you can remember?
If you didn't think about this question at the start of this article, then now is a good time to dig deep inside your memories.
You are probably thinking that this is actually a VERY HARD question to answer, right?
You are not alone.
All of the people I have asked this question to have struggled in finding an answer. Hell, even I find it difficult, and I keep a freaking memory journal!
My earliest memory is from when I was...
It's the memory that is the leftmost bubble in my memory timeline. It's a pretty small bubble, actually, meaning that the memory is relatively small and blurry. But I still remember it. This is what I've written down in my memory journal:
I vaguely remember how I was at kindergarten and was about to be given a shot via a needle. All the kids and their parents were gathered in the gym building. I wasn't impressed at all, and just sat there watching it. I didn't feel anything, and I remember that some of the older kids made a BIG deal about it. Some even cried. My mom actually remembers this as well. She says I just sat there and watched the needle go into my arm without even blinking. I wish I could still do that now...
This is (so far) the first vague memory I have of myself. I don't know the exact age of this memory, but I estimate it must have happened when I was about 4 years old. The details are pretty blurry though...
So you might be wondering now, what is the first real BIG memory of my life? What's the clearest and most early memory of my life, that I could recall just as if it happened yesterday?
I'm already quite a bit older by the time this happened, but this is what I've got:
This is one of the most epic stories of my youth. I was in second grade and 5 years old or something. The entire day at school consisted of playing outside, being read a book and relaxing. We were free to choose whatever activity we wanted to do for the morning and the afternoon. We got to choose in which part of the classroom we wanted to play. There was a building corner, a drawing corner and some others. I only cared about the building and drawing corners, just like the other boys in the class.
The school had bathroom stalls with doors that were super short. Everybody could peek above it and watch you sit there. Fucking weird. That's why I NEVER went to the bathroom when I was at school. NEVER.
This one day, I had spent the entire morning in the building corner and I had to pee like a maniac. I didn't know what to do, and I was starting to get really stressed. There was NO way I was going to the bathroom stalls. My parents weren't at home and I had to stay over at school during lunch break. What could I do?
Ah-ah! After lunch break, I moved my little magnet (of a train) from the building corner to the READING CORNER on the big magnet board. All the kids had to move their magnets to whatever corner you wanted to stay in for the rest of the day. Why did I pick the reading corner? Because literally NO ONE ever sat in the lame and boring reading corner. Also, they had a soft couch in the reading corner that was covered in all these cushions. So my plan was to sit there alone, and to just pee straight through my pants onto the cushions without anyone ever noticing. I'd rather do that than to go to those horrible bathroom stalls.
So that's exactly what I did. Nobody noticed. NOBODY. I pissed straight through my pants, onto the cushions and nobody saw me do it. I just sat there and waited until it dried and spent the rest of the day pretending I enjoyed reading all these books. And that's how I made it through the day. Man, I love this story...
Man, I already LOVE to re-read these memories. I feel glad that I now have a memory journal that contains a LOT of memories like this. And it feels great to know that I'll never ever forget about them, because I can re-read them whenever I want.
Thinking about all these memories like this makes me think, though...
What causes me to forget about my memories in the first place? How can I suddenly remember a memory again? What causes me to suddenly stumble upon one of my long-lost memories?
How memories work?
It made me wonder about the following question:
Do we lose memories, or only the ability to access them?
It actually turns out this question hinges on some hotly debated topics in memory research that try to define how and where memory representations are stored in the brain.
At the moment, there is no good, definite, or agreed upon answer to this question.
However, the simple answer to this question is that a loss of memory is usually a loss in ability to access that memory. I'll give you a scenario that is easy to relate to first.
Let's say you're going to the grocery store, and you have five different item to buy that a friend asked you to pick up, and don't have a list or any way to contact them.
If you remember the first three items perfectly, but don't quite remember the last two, do you give up and go home? No, right? You would most definitely walk around the store, hoping something would cue your memory and you would be able to buy what you need. You memory of the 'forgotten' items was not immediately accessible by free recall, but would be accessible with better cues.
Events at the time of memory recollection are very important in determining whether you will be able to produce a certain piece of information. There is a ton of insightful research in this area. There's an interesting paper by Malthup (1995) that used a 'false fame' procedure created by Larry Jacoby.
This procedure involves asking participants to pay attention to a list of made-up, non famous names. Then after some time (a day, a week etc.) bring those same people back into the lab and test them on a new list of names that contains some names from the previous list, some new non-famous names, and some names of famous people. Then participants are asked to rate the fame of the names presented. Names that were studied from the previous session, although they are fictitious and not associated with any level of fame, are consistently rated as being more famous than fictitious names presented for the first time at test.
Older individuals are reliably shown to be worse at this task (i.e. rate studied names as famous more often) than younger individuals. Malthup manipulated this task by specifically telling participants the three options for names they will see (i.e. famous name, new non-famous names, and old non-famous names). In this context older adults performed as well as younger adults.
This is just one example of how memory for certain events can be thought of as 'lost' because they are simply inaccessible at the moment, or need to be probed, cued, accessed in a different way.
That's why it's important to always be able to write down a memory at the moment you stumble upon it. If you don't write it down immediately, you will likely forget the memory again within a matter of minutes. The problem is, who knows when you will access that memory again? You may never encounter the right cues again.
How to remember lost memories?
If you are looking to fill your memory journal as much as possible (as I am), then it's important to know how to remember those lost memories. Or rather, how to re-access those memories, as they probably still exist in your mind. You just have to find the right cues in order to access them again!
And that's how to remember lost memories! You need to seek out these cues.
A few methods to seek out these lost memory cues are to:
- talk more to your (grand)parents more often (always a good idea anyway!)
- talk to family and friends about your childhood
- travel back to your home town
- re-connect to your former classmates
- look through old photo albums
- listen to old music you used to like
- watch your favorite childhood movies, shows and cartoons
- visit your old school building, the sport club you practised at or the playground you always hung out on
You might notice that everything on this list has the potential to reignite those long lost memories.
When you ask your parents a simple question like "what was I like when growing up?", you might hear a story you are already familiar with. But your parents will give you their version of the story, as they have to dig around in their own memory in order to answer you!
Discussing a simple question like this will probably create a lot of lost memory cues, which you can then write down in your memory journal!
As said before, this likely happens because some cue in your environment, or some aspect of a thought you were just having, was connected in some way to the sudden involuntary memory recall that you experience.
However, those cues don't always seem relevant to the memory itself. This is something you might be familiar with: a random memory seems to enter your mind, and you don't know why you suddenly just started thinking about it?! Sounds familiar?
One reason why the memory might not seem relevant is that the cue associated with it may be really subtle, or not very meaningful content-wise; a powerful example of this is when a smell or a sound (like part of a song) is associated in one's mind with a certain period of time or an event, or even a feeling about an event. This could lead to a neural activation of circuits that represent other events, ideas or feelings from that time.
You see, memories appear to be more organised by emotions, senses, or ideas, rather than the time when they occurred. Scientists also don't completely understand yet how memories are maintained over time. it could be that infrequently recalled memories are not deliberately discarded by the brain, but instead fade gradually, as if the neurons and synapses involved in representing them are eventually recruited to be part of other memories instead.
It's also been shown that the act of recalling a memory can actually change the information that is stored, conflating things that happened during memory recall with things during that actually happened during the original event. So in that sense, an infrequently recalled memory might possibly be more accurate than a recent one.
This may sound strange, right? How can a memory become more "distorted" when we recall it more often? This is a topic for an entirely different post, to be honest. I'm only really just scratching the surface of scientific research on memories here. If you want to continue reading about the sciency stuff, I'll list a couple of resources at the bottom of this post!
Life memory via photographs?
Before I end this post, I want to discuss one more method of memorising your life that I haven't discussed yet.
One of the best tools for memorising your life - besides journaling - is taking photographs.
Nowadays, with smartphones and cloud storage, it is SO easy to just snap a picture of something and to forget about it. With services like Google Photos or the iCloud Photo Library, your photos are instantly backed up to the cloud so you may never lose them again. I absolutely love it.
I have made it a habit to make as much photographs as possible. It doesn't have to be of anything impressive, I mostly just want to capture the memory. If I'm sitting outside on a beautiful day and notice how pretty my surroundings actually are, I usually just snap a quick picture. Even if it is not a fantastic picture, I will still have captured the memory so that I may never forget it again.
I view my photo library (it's HUUUGE) as a different kind of memory journal. I like to think that 70-year-old me would be very grateful to have so many memories immortalised. I already take pleasure in skipping through my old memories and pictures, so I bet I will like it even more when I'm an old dude in retirement! 😉
And with that said, I want to conclude this list of methods covering how to start remembering all your life memories. I believe these methods can help you create a huuuge memory journal, and I hope this has somehow inspired you to get to it!
As always, if you have any questions about anything, please let me know in the comments below, and I'll be happy to answer you!
I have been tracking my personal happiness for almost 5 years now. It is my mission to inspire others to start tracking their happiness as well.
That guy on the left? That's me!
I love running, music and spending time with my friends, family, and girlfriend. I'm quite the introvert and get a tingly feeling when I look at complex and interesting data.
Sounds boring? I won't blame you.
Truth is, all I care about is my happiness.
Well then, am I happy?
This chart on the right should give you the answer!
That guy down there? That's me!
Sounds boring? I won't blame you.
Truth is, all I care about is my happiness.
Well then, am I happy?
This chart below should give you the answer!