Episode #8: Rebecca Doring

Hugo: [00:00:00] Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of the Tracking Happiness podcast, episode 8 already. Unbelievable, I’m quite on a roll. Well, today I’ve got Rebecca Doring with me. Hi Rebecca.

Rebecca: Hi, thanks so much for having me. So

Hugo: Yeah, no, it’s my pleasure entirely. Before we started recording, we had a bit of a chat and it turns out Rebecca was one of the first persons to actually do a written interview with me on tracking happiness dot com.

And here we are almost one and a half years later. And now we’re recording one of the first podcasts together. So amazing.

Rebecca: So cool. I didn’t know.

Hugo: you’re like one of the early adapters twice now on the tracking happiness platform. So yeah, huge thanks for that. Huge thanks for being here. Being willing to share your story twice now.

Rebecca: Of course. I’m so grateful.

Hugo: Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you. I’m, I’m really, you know, this [00:01:00] is the eighth episode and already I’ve been able to, you know, like doing written interviews. That’s, that’s, that’s cool. Um, but being able to, you know, have a conversation and get to see and hear a person, uh, it’s, it’s a whole nother level. It’s so cool to be able to record those conversations.

Um, but yeah, yeah. Um. Let me just get this, get this started with an easy question. Uh, Rebecca, who are you? Where are you from? What do you do? And how are you doing? I,

Rebecca: Great. I

Hugo: I always, I always start this podcast with, with those four questions. And I’ve always thought like, I, I, I introduced them as one question, but then I go on and ask four questions.

I might be a bit confusing, but great. That was your short, that, that was the shortest answer to those four questions.

Rebecca: It was a really just a tactic to help me think about an answer.

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: Yeah. I live in Cornwall, Connecticut, [00:02:00] uh, in the middle. I live in a log cabin in the middle of the woods with my husband and my cat. I am a meditation teacher, a yoga teacher, a business and a life coach. And I help people. Overcome inner obstacles that rise above imposter syndrome, navigate through the inner critic so they can achieve their deepest desires, whether that means growing a wellness business or maybe just finding happiness after they have achieved their goals. So, yeah, so I’m so to be, be here, sharing, having this conversation.

Hugo: Well, uh, a log cabin in the middle of the woods in Connecticut.

Rebecca: Yes.

Hugo: does that look like?

Rebecca: Uh, it’s actually, it’s very much what you would think. It’s, it’s a log cabin, although we have an addition on the back. So it’s a very unique looking house and we’re built in the side of a mountain. Trees and green all around us. I was just sitting out on my deck out front. It’s absolutely magic.

Hugo: So it’s, [00:03:00] it’s, um, uh, I’m going to guess the time zone that you’re in right now. For me, it’s 8 PM right now, but for you, it should be just, uh, 1 PM or something.

Rebecca: 2 p. m.

Hugo: 2 PM. Ah, okay. Yeah.

Rebecca: close.

Hugo: So you’re sitting on the deck, looking at the forest, enjoying the quietness and the sun right above your head.

Rebecca: Yes.

Hugo: I’m picturing now.

Rebecca: It’s spot on with a lot of bird song in the background.

Hugo: Oh, even better.

Rebecca: us. Yeah.

Hugo: Oh, wow. And now you’re here inside recording a podcast. Blah.

Rebecca: Yeah, I have a window so I’m

Hugo: Oh, okay.

Rebecca: the green right, right

Hugo: Yeah, yeah. All right. Well, um, I won’t, it won’t take too long. Just, well, it is interesting. Have you always lived on an outdoorsy situation like that?

Rebecca: I lived about a half an hour away from here. I was born about a half an hour away from here in a little bit more of a residential and developed area. Like this [00:04:00] town that I’m in, everyone locally thinks that we live in the absolute middle of nowhere, and not. We’re a half an hour from a lot of, a lot of towns.

But it does feel like we’re in the middle of the nowhere, which is really, really lovely. But

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: been a tree girl. I live outside. I’m a trail runner, hiker. I love being

Hugo: Cool.

Rebecca: So yeah.

Hugo: Nice. Oh, that sounds that sounds amazing. So I’m I’m here in the Netherlands.

Rebecca: Mm.

Hugo: what tiny country in Europe? Very densely populated. Like Connecticut is probably well, it’s it’s bigger than the Netherlands. I’m sure. But it’s probably like. Four times as big as the Netherlands. Um, we’ve got 17 million people in the Netherlands.

And so even the most remote people in the Netherlands are not as remote as you are, I guess.

Rebecca: Oh, my goodness. That’s wild.

Hugo: when I hear a log cabin outdoorsy bird songs, I I’m like, wow, wow. That, that sounds, that sounds really nice.

Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah, it is. Oh, but [00:05:00] wow.

Hugo: The Netherlands has its, has its upsides too. It’s, it’s a nice country, but I’ve been to the States once. Um, And it was so great. Yeah. Connecticut. I’ve, I’ve actually sped down the, what was it? The I 95. Is that the one that runs on your side? Yeah. Um, straight down to Florida. It was really nice. It was, it was March back then.

Um, so it was still a bit chilly. So we were like, all right, go south and enjoy the sun as soon as possible.

Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah.

Hugo: Um, but anyway, I’ve already wasted five minutes of your, uh, time that you’ve, you’ve otherwise been able to enjoy the outdoors, you know? Uh, so, um, yeah, uh, let’s get this started. Um, this is a podcast about mental health stories, uh, either overcoming them or learning to live with them.

Um, and well, you have a story. Um, do you mind sharing a little bit about that?

Rebecca: Sure. The story that I told in your interview, which is a story I don’t talk about all that often. [00:06:00] So it’s, it’s quite nice to have an opportunity to was, uh, I had discovered, realized that I was a binge eater without actually even it, which sounds kind of crazy, but there, there came a time when it dawned on me how, how deeply I was this pattern and this negative feedback loop of binge eating and self loathing and a very loud inner critic and that time was a huge pivotal moment in my life in moving me forward towards where I am now. Absolutely.

Hugo: So, so it sounds like it kind of snuck up on you. Uh, was it, was that the case?

Rebecca: It did. Yeah. It was something where it just all started kind of innocently. And I’ve always been a foodie. I love food. I love

Hugo: Oh yeah. Mm hmm.

Rebecca: always something that it just was a way of, I thought [00:07:00] that it was just me enjoying my food. But I had

Hugo: Oh yeah.

Rebecca: went through my, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and during that time is when it. started was me not really having the tools to emotionally cope with what was happening I was changing careers, I was in a new relationship with whom I’m married to now, uh, happily, but at the time it was, it was wonderful, but it was new, just like a lot of transformation, a lot of, or a lot of transition

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: in my life.

Changing careers, father was dying, new

Hugo: Grief. Yeah.

Rebecca: and I, I found myself stealing moments of eating to cope with that, and I hadn’t even really realized that that was a pattern that was my way of coping until it got to a point where it started causing problems.

Hugo: So what did these problems look like then?

Rebecca: Yeah, I [00:08:00] started realizing, uh, well, at first the, the problems were actual, like, physical problems. Like, I started getting digestive issues, which I’ve always had digestive issues. Um, up until that point anyway, I don’t anymore, but at the time that was also a constant in my life that where there was always some sort of digestive issue.

So I just attributed it to, that’s just how my body is. But I started realizing I would eat myself sick. Like I would eat until I would get sick and I would have to leave parties. I would have to leave, areas I’d have to go to bed early and just like lie down and hope for the morning to come sooner. And then in the morning I would be filled with. Self loathing. And that

Hugo: Oh, yeah.

Rebecca: that was the most challenging. The physical piece was uncomfortable and painful, whatever. But the morning after would always be the worst for me. I would wake up rehashing every bite I took. I would be filled with self loathing.

I would just be beating myself up. Not, [00:09:00] not an ounce of compassion, not even any awareness for what led me to go into those states. And, you know, I had joined a, uh, a membership at the time that was like a weight loss membership and in that there was a subgroup had a group call where this woman was talking about binge eating and she started sharing these, um, like symptoms, I guess you could call it of, of that. It’s particular experience and the self loathing was a huge piece of it. And I suddenly found myself realizing what had been happening and started seeing my life kind of a different lens of understanding. And through that understanding, eventually led me to get to a place of compassion and applying a lot of the tools that I had learned up until that point.

Because. By that time, I was a meditation teacher. I was a yoga teacher. I had been in the wellness industry for a while. So it was [00:10:00] kind of almost like I’d been using a lot of these tools, but still not coping with the internal story and my own relationship with myself and my, own way of coping and dealing with and processing difficult emotions and heavy vibrations and emotional states and

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: of mind. that moment was like, Whoa, I didn’t even realize that this was here. And now with through this awareness, I have the ability to make new choices and also apply all of these tools that I have to this moment. New realm, and I learned a lot of strategies in that membership. It was Corinne Crabtree’s No BS Weight Loss membership and, um, incredible, the community and the tools I learned within that, uh, but yeah, so I’m very,

Hugo: yeah.

Rebecca: for

Hugo: I’ll, I’ll make sure to ask. I’ll ask some follow up questions about that later. ’cause I’m, I’m sure that it’s [00:11:00] gonna be helpful to listeners as well, but. Um, wow. Yeah. So, so just to summarize quickly, um, you had already, well, you, you, you were a foodie, like you enjoyed food as a, as a way of like self care, um, perhaps like enjoying your life, escaping your, your stress and just enjoying a bite, you know?

And then it sounds a little bit by chance, you didn’t know that you were struggling with binge eating, but by chance you joined a group that was able to help you sort of pinpoint these, this issue that you were struggling with.

Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I had joined that. I joined it really to solve that problem, which I was facing, which was waking up, realizing that I eaten too much the day before and just thought it was a pattern of overeating without really understanding the emotional piece behind it.

Hugo: Yeah. Yeah. And so, so what tools did well, you were talking about tools, I would love to learn more about [00:12:00] that. What tools did you. Did you learn that you’re, that helped you diagnose the root causes of the thing that, uh, yeah, that you struggled with?

Rebecca: Yeah, compassion, um, the step by step of compassion. Prior to that point, I had been of my own compassion practice through meditation Prior to meditation, the idea of compassion was completely foreign,

Hugo: So, what do you mean with compassion then? Like, being compassionate towards yourself, I suppose. And, and, in what ways? Like, how did that materialize?

Rebecca: well, for, for a lot of my students, too, that I meet and myself at that point in my life, the idea of having compassion for myself was so foreign, it seemed like nearly impossible. Like, I don’t even know what you mean. I can’t, I can’t even [00:13:00] comprehend what that looks like or why I would do that or what that truly means in action. Through my meditation practice and becoming a meditation teacher, I started developing a strategy of, or step by step strategy, really, of getting to compassion, which starts with curiosity. curiosity, I always say, is the antidote to judgment. And when we are in a place of being curious, lost in the inner critic, lost in self criticism, lost in self loathing, like I was. Curiosity is the, uh, we are in a very judgmental place. But if we shift to being curious about these things, not even, not judging ourselves for judging ourselves, which, which can frequently happen when we become aware of patterns like these, but getting curious about what, these voices, what these thoughts are saying, what, what these feelings are actually feeling like when they’re coming up, kind of takes away resistance and judgment of it, and it [00:14:00] just allows it to be there, which that’s the step two, which is allowing.

So curiosity, allowing,

Hugo: Yeah?

Rebecca: like accepting this exactly as it is, not trying to change it, not trying to fix it, not trying to throw it away and become something better, which was a pattern I had had my whole life, and then, Seek to understand like kind of investigate, get a little bit more curious about why, why am I feeling this way?

What am I really needing right now? What is, what is actually coming up for me right now? And through understanding compassion becomes. And so when I became aware of this pattern of I started realizing that there was a, there was an experience that happened before that, which was, uh, an experience of beating myself up. Getting into a feeling of shame first, then my solution to cope with that feeling was eating, to

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: to [00:15:00] just focus on flavors and textures, just stop, stop being in this place. And then I would do that to a point of then getting more into shame, of feeling worse

Hugo: Yeah, and then the cycle repeats, yeah.

Rebecca: And it goes on and on and on, but then getting to, like, starting with just being curious, not trying to stop the binge eating, not trying to stop the feeling, just getting curious to observe it and witness it, was at first, like, a huge relief washes over you, or at

Hugo: A relief.

Rebecca: Relief.

Hugo: a powerful emotion. It doesn’t, whoa, okay, yeah, wow.

Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah.

Hugo: So just being curious about, hey, this is, um, just exploring the thought processes that happen as you are engaging in, in binge eating then. That’s what it sounds like.

Rebecca: Yeah, yeah, and it’s a it’s something that I bring into my life now and something that I teach a lot of that whenever there’s a Overwhelming heavy emotion that’s coming up We of course want [00:16:00] to look the other way

Hugo: Suppress it, yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah.

Rebecca: the second we become curious about it a sense of relief can happen because we get relief from that resistance that judgment of what is. And instead it’s just free to be here. And then we’re just dealing with the emotion, not dealing with the emotion and the resistance on top of it. And the judgment and all the other stuff we pile on top of it. So, yeah, that’s, I mean, that’s That’s, that’s like a huge, huge thing that if anyone who’s listening to this is experiencing something similar, if you only take away one thing, shifting into curiosity would be the, the most, most profound thing that I still use every day in so many scenarios.

Hugo: Sounds universally applicable, not just to binge eating, but to any stressors.

Rebecca: Yeah.

Hugo: Yeah, wow, that’s really interesting. Um, and so, um, [00:17:00] I know the answer to this question already because, you know, the interview on the website, but you also mentioned journaling

Rebecca: Yeah.

Hugo: a big part of what helped you find out, um, well, find your way through binge eating.

That’s interesting. Um, it, it does sound like that is, um, um, like a yin and yang almost to, um, finding out that curiosity, uh, through journaling. Uh, was it, was it a tool that you used for that or how did you journal your way through it?

Rebecca: Yeah, 100 percent journaling is still a part of my daily, daily lifestyle. Journaling if used in a specific way can be, I mean, journaling in any capacity is very transformational. But for me, I use journaling as a tool to get curious and also unlock the stories that are just underneath the surface.

Because for me with binge eating, I wasn’t aware of the stories that were playing [00:18:00] out in my mind. I wasn’t even aware of the shame that was present. All I was aware of was this bad feeling in my body and then almost like this trance like experience of my body getting up and walking to the pantry and starting to eat food without even really being conscious of what was going on. underlying, what was the thing that was actually going on. So when I started getting curious and exploring and accepting and seeking to understand. Journaling was a very powerful tool for me to do that, because then I could either in the moment, if I, if I, If I felt strong enough to do so or after the fact or that morning, I could just start asking myself what was coming up for me in

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: when I was sitting on the couch and then all of a sudden felt the need to go to the pantry.

What was actually coming up for me? What was I really thinking? How

Hugo: And he wrote, you wrote the answers down in the journal.

Rebecca: Yes.

Hugo: Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Cool.

Rebecca: And journaling unlocks the subconscious mind. So these stories, I mean, everything that we [00:19:00] think, feel, and do is driven by stories in the subconscious mind. So

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: the subconscious through journaling or talking out loud.

And journaling is just a really useful tool to do

Hugo: That’s.

Rebecca: self practice.

Hugo: That’s so, uh, eloquently put.

Rebecca: Hmm.

Hugo: I’ve, I’ve used the word eloquently twice in my whole life, and it was twice on the podcast, and now this is the second time. Like, it is so beautifully described. Um, I remember reading a book of David Kahneman, like the, the, the, well, anyway, thinking fast and slow, and your fast brain is the one that makes 99 of your, 99 percent of your decisions.

Rebecca: Hmm,

Hugo: but it’s subconscious. Um, which means it’s harder to understand. It’s a bit harder to pinpoint. Um, and just the 1 percent of your decisions get, get made by your slow mind,

Rebecca: hmm,

Hugo: often resource heavy and, you know, no one has time to [00:20:00] really think about each and every decision he takes, but then it sounds like, well, the way you put it, like journaling allows you, it’s like a doorway towards understanding those 99 percent of the decisions that you make, even without you being aware of it.

Rebecca: yes.

Hugo: So, so beautiful. Like, I never thought back of that book. I read it years ago, but now this, it’s, it’s, it’s suddenly reminded me of, Hey, this is exactly what that book was, was, uh, talking about. But well, now it’s so easier to, so much easier to understand.

Rebecca: I love that.

Hugo: Yeah. So I’ve, I’ve been journaling a long time too.

Um, and for me, well, uh, not to, uh, I don’t want this to take too long, but, um, I’ve, Never thought more about the things that I do. I’ve just lived life on autopilot. Go with the flow. You know, don’t question the things that happen around you and not even the things you do yourself. Uh, just, just go with the flow.

But once I started [00:21:00] journaling, I was like, Hey, hold on. Well, it forces you to think about the things you’re doing. Uh, sometimes it can be a bit hard. Sometimes it can be eye opening and revealing. Uh, but it’s such a beautiful way to help you. become more aware of what happens in your life. And the best thing is for me, it’s completely free.

Rebecca: yes, yes, yes. Yeah, I love what you just said there too, is questioning. Because so many, if not, most or even all of the stories that we carry about ourselves, all of the ones that are negative are lies. They are, they’re stories of the mind that have just been created to keep us safe. And if we do live on autopilot without questioning them, we might just blindly live according to the limitations that those stories set. But

Hugo: So by that you, you mean like the, the caveman who is like, Oh, I have to be a bit, I, I, I cannot afford to be compassionate towards myself or otherwise I will be [00:22:00] eaten by a saber tooth tiger. You know, that, that’s, that’s kind of the, the analogy, right? Well, whereas today we are, we are perfectly fine, and we can be a bit vulnerable sometimes without being slaughtered by wild animals right away.

Rebecca: right. But our brains are still designed to protect us from pain,

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: uh, seek pleasure, conserve energy, and so it perceives emotional pain just as life threatening as a saber toothed tiger. And so, with our, with journaling and questioning these stories, stories, we can start to of remove ourselves from them and see them through the more logical adult mind and say, Oh, wait a second.

Actually, this isn’t true at all. And sometimes those stories can get released just by being brought into our awareness and questioning them.

Hugo: just, just writing down your thoughts, and it’s like, Huh, wait, that’s completely not the case here.

Rebecca: Yeah,

Hugo: Whoa.

Rebecca: apply to this situation. Other times we require a little bit more rapid repetition, [00:23:00] a little more uh, dig a little deeper, a little more deeper strategies and tools to, to release those stories. But journaling is a, is an excellent way to do all of

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: a huge part of my life, even now with, in a positive way, in, in me in my business, supporting me in my goals, supporting me in my well being, every area of my life.

Hugo: I do want to ask him more about that, but just one question. I still, uh, Felt like I needed to ask because you talked about that being compassionate towards yourself and, um, navigating self doubt, like not being good enough. Um, was that something that journaling did for you as well? Or did you have any other tools that helped you realize like, Hey, this inner voice is wrong 99 percent of the time and I just need to stand up to it?

Rebecca: Mm. Yeah. It’s for me. Yeah. Compassion. Well, two things is shame. [00:24:00] That feeling of not enoughness, that feeling when we’re whenever we’re feeling like we’re not strong enough, knowledgeable enough, good enough, lovable enough, whatever that story is, we all have our own versions of them, is. Is what I see as the human condition.

We all have our own stories that we carry with ourselves that were created, chances are, in childhood, just the way our human brains

Hugo: Mm hmm. Yeah.

Rebecca: uh, to me, like, one of the greatest gifts is learning to release those stories and discover the truth of who we are instead. And that is not the truth. That’s just clouding the truth, trying to keep us safe from the saber toothed tigers all around. And,

Hugo: I love that you’re jumping on this analogy.

Rebecca: Yeah,

Hugo: My, my, my dumb example.

Rebecca: No, I actually use saber toothed tiger example quite a

Hugo: Oh, really?

Rebecca: I do. Yeah, that’s

Hugo: Yes.

Rebecca: so Yeah, it’s a matter of getting to See it [00:25:00] question it and get to place of compassion. So Compassion is like it’s not throwing away the stories that tell us we’re not good enough. It’s to me it’s not even necessarily standing up to them or or trying to stop them, but it’s a matter of learning why they’re there.

Like what is the actual message that this story is, is actually saying to me? What if it’s a, a story from my younger years, like my younger self has a story that just, she just needs to be heard by me, not by anyone else. She just needs to be heard by me. And once she’s heard by me, then it’s gone. And that is. Uh, practice of using journaling for sure, but also meditation and, uh, moving through the steps of curiosity, allowing, accepting, And often then questioning. And once you get to the questioning piece, then you can tell yourself the true story. Then you can [00:26:00] become clear enough to see the true story that, wait a second, I am, if this story was telling me I’m unworthy, then the truth is, I am worthy, 100%.

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: If the lie is telling me that I’m not capable, then the truth is saying that I actually am capable, so I’m going to tell myself this story that I’m capable of doing this, and then I’m going to go out there and do it and prove it wrong. I’m going to keep doing it, even if I’m not sure if I am capable of doing it, until I do it, and then I have that new evidence to say, Hey, inner critic, I know we didn’t think we could do this before, but look, we did it.

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: we do? And since then, since applying, learning those steps for me, I’ve applied that to so many goals in my life and have discovered so much capability and strength and resilience, uh, in my life. And it’s taken me really far in a lot of, a lot of areas.

Hugo: Wow. And, and would you say you have totally overcome binge eating now? Yeah. Awesome. And [00:27:00] same with you mentioned digestive issues that you were having all the way up on your life until. Well, up until you’ve overcome it. No, that’s amazing.

Rebecca: yeah.

Hugo: It’s usually like a lot of these stories is more like, Hey, you’re learning to live with a struggle, but here you are like, Hey, you knocked it out of the park, basically.

Rebecca: Yeah,

Hugo: awesome.

Rebecca: it’s a matter of my continued use of my practice, uh, because I’m always learning. in with what stories could come up. If I stopped doing that, or if I didn’t really do it very much, then those underlying subconscious stories could still be playing out, which could lead me to wanting to shut down or,

Hugo: Mm.

Rebecca: them. I’m not saying I don’t have those thoughts. I’m not saying I don’t have moments where I want to shut down, but I don’t turn towards food to answer it anymore. I’m, I’ve become I’ve built in enough of a pattern, a new feedback loop in my brain that

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: to recognize [00:28:00] it before I reach for food. And if I even feel an urge, which I don’t even feel urges for that anymore, but if I were to, I would be able to process that instead of acting upon it. Um, but it’s still like, still have the, the triggers, even though I’ve transformed a lot of them. So most of. The number of them I have greatly reduced, but there still can be times when I am a human and I feel

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: unworthy just like everybody else.

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: of coping with that and responding to it is in a positive way that takes me out of it and gets me back to a state of feeling aligned with the truth of who I am. So for me, now I see those triggers as an opportunity for me to become even more closely connected. To the truth of who I am and what I’m truly meant for, and that’s what I love to teach my students, that our triggers don’t have to be This thing that is going to forever haunt us, they can [00:29:00] become a new relationship, an

Hugo: Yeah.

Rebecca: to hold our hands, to get to know

Hugo: It’s like it was, it used to be if this, then that, but then that relationship, you can change it to be something else and not that, but something better, something healthier.

Rebecca: Mm hmm.

Hugo: that’s wonderful. I thought of, there’s another word that I don’t use, uh, often use, uh, also just in the podcast, uh, brain elasticity.

Rebecca: Mm.

Hugo: no, no brain plasticity. Wow. Got it wrong. Um, brain plasticity where you can, well, basically train your brain so that it, it, the thought patterns that you used to have, you can train them towards something more positive. Well, I’m, I’m pretty sure that you are aware of the, very aware with the concept. But it was something that came up in the previous episode too, and it’s so cool.

And I, well, The way, why I’m saying this is that journaling, I feel like is, is, um, one of the best ways to just [00:30:00] constantly be in contact with your brain and the way it processes things, um, maybe it might be the best tool to, to practice, uh, improving the way you, you, you think and, and respond to, to thoughts and therefore, um, brain plasticity.

It shapes your brain into, into doing something better and healthier responses.

Rebecca: Yeah.

Hugo: Oh, wow. Um, you’re bringing this level of this conversation to a whole new level,

Rebecca: Love that.

Hugo: making me, making me use words that I don’t normally use.

Rebecca: That’s great.

Hugo: But anyway, so, so now, um, your, your business, you’re, uh, you’re a business coach. Uh, you help people, uh, become better, become a better version of themselves. Uh, or, uh, that’s what I’m guessing. Is that, uh, does that come close?

Rebecca: Yeah, becoming, uh, connecting to and discovering who they really are and what they’re truly capable of and [00:31:00] allowing themselves to desire the goals that they deep down desire, go after them and achieve them. So, yeah.

Hugo: Cool. So how do you do that?

Rebecca: Uh, well, I have one to one mentorship programs through business, through personal, like I have some people that come to me for the personal side of things, other people that come to me for the business strategy of things. And there’s always mindset with that as well. And I also have a group programs, um, and then I teach meditation.

I have meditation, uh, meditation bundles and stuff on my website. And then I also have a podcast myself called Inner Critic Freedom.

Hugo: Cool. Well, I knew from the, from the minute we started recording, your sound is so crystal clear. Uh, here I am using a cheap microphone. Um, your sound is so good. So I thought, Hey, I’m, I’m, I’m, uh, having a conversation with a person that has way more experience than I have.[00:32:00]

Rebecca: As we, we all

Hugo: it. Yeah, yeah, well, that’s, that’s awesome.

It sounds really nice. So I’ll, I’ll make sure to drop every link in the show notes below so that people can look you up if they want to. Um, do, do they also get to go out in the nature in Connecticut with the, in the forest and the songbirds around them or?

Rebecca: uh, well, I mean,

Hugo: Is it more of an online thing?

Rebecca: it’s more of an online thing,

Hugo: Yeah, yeah.

Rebecca: me online, I’m always sharing on Instagram. I’m Rebecca Doring Meditation on Instagram, and I’m always sharing videos and clips of nature behind me, and all, that’s a huge part of my brand. I’m always taking you into the woods with me. And uh, And I’m also, I will be doing a couple of retreats next year as well, so I, the dates aren’t set and the destinations aren’t set yet, they will definitely be centered around nature.

Hugo: Ah, cool. So just, just one more question before I try to wrap this up. Um, um, I’ve interviewed [00:33:00] on trackinghappiness. com, I’ve interviewed over 160 people now. And so I’m, I’m a spreadsheet guy. So I try to figure it all out, categorize all, all these interviews and try to get a little bit of correlation analysis going and stuff like that.

Um, 15 of those interviews so far have been about, uh, or partially about, uh, eating disorders.

Rebecca: Hmm.

Hugo: interestingly enough, um, most of them, I, I think if not all of them have been women. Um, what, what are your thoughts on that?

Rebecca: Um, as far as the difference between, like, is it something that’s more aligned with women than men?

Hugo: Oh, it, it, well, I, well, I’ve, I’ve known from other, like a previous episode that I recorded, it’s, uh, it was also with, uh, with a woman who had struggled with eating disorders, and it was be, it was anorexia. So more of,

Rebecca: Hmm.

Hugo: you all around, wherever you look, you see. [00:34:00] Models, skinny girls, and I think like that that picture of you know You have to be skinny in order to be seen as a beautiful human being is more aimed towards human.

Oh, sorry women

Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah. I do agree. I mean, I think part of the self-loathing came into the, the idea of. I, as a woman, I’m not supposed to eat this much or I am a bad person because I ate more than I should. You know, I think that came into play with part of the aftermath of it,

Hugo: Oh, yeah,

Rebecca: that cycle of the eating disorder for sure. So I would, I would tend to agree just our society tends to send those messages to women. On the other hand, I personally work with probably, I mean, I work with Both men and women struggling with a lot of the same, uh, internal struggles of the patterns of beating ourselves up, not believing ourselves to be capable enough, [00:35:00] striving for perfection, putting impossible standards on ourselves. And, uh, I find that it, it does, it goes across genders. However,

Hugo: yeah,

Rebecca: perhaps the, the way it manifests could be different for each gender, you

Hugo: oh, yeah, yeah,

Rebecca: they

Hugo: yeah

Rebecca: something very different.

Hugo: Yeah

Rebecca: But yeah,

Hugo: Yeah, well, it’s yeah, it is there’s there’s like sexual differences between You Um, different struggles like, um, um, things that have been studied as well. Like, uh, suicide rates are higher for, for men opposed to women. And somewhere I can, I can see like, Hey, yeah, men do feel like they have to be tough and be a bit more distant, uh, from, you know, talking and being vulnerable about your emotions and stuff like that.

So, yeah, it’s interesting to, um, you know, just wanted to get your thoughts on. Like a bad relationship with food that’s a bit more prevalent in, in women, [00:36:00] uh, well,

Rebecca: absolutely. And it’s, you know, there’s societal things that are put on women as far as like our, our image, the way our bodies look are supposed to be a certain way. And if we don’t have that, then we might experience shame. Whereas men are, you know, Raised, our society puts on them to be the strong, don’t emote, be the provider, be the protector.

Hugo: yeah, yeah.

Rebecca: they would be more likely to feel shame in those, those areas. yeah, it’s, it’s interesting how we can all still experience the same feeling of shame, of not feeling like we’re enough, not worthy of belonging, not worthy of connection, not worthy of success or whatever it is. And it can just come out in different ways, and Be coped with in different ways.

Hugo: Yeah, exactly. Well, that’s another, you put these sentences together and I’m like, wow, that’s so well said.

Rebecca: Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that.[00:37:00]

Hugo: So, so just a final question. The, the laziest question, uh, ever. Um, was there anything that, uh, I didn’t ask that you, uh, like to share?

Rebecca: I love that. love the laziest question. That’s so funny. I guess I always love to me personally, in my own podcast, I like to the episode with a little bit of wisdom in case of someone is

Hugo: Oh, yep. Yep. Yes, please. Yeah.

Rebecca: So I guess if, if is listening right now and you are resonating with my story and maybe you’re stuck in the place of not knowing that it’s possible to feel better and you are in that pattern of self loathing.

of binge eating or however it’s manifesting for you. Just first and foremost, know that you are not alone. And I hope that my story can, and this [00:38:00] podcast is, is such a, such a gift to share with others that we are not alone in these struggles that can feel so isolating. And even more so the, in my experience, the feeling of shame is isolating and tells us that we are alone and we, we can’t share it. But I encourage you to. Start with getting curious about these things, get curious as if a close friend of yours is coming to you with, with a hard story, and they just need you to listen. And is it possible to start to practice to do that with yourself? And If you start there and you keep showing up each day with a little bit of curiosity, maybe you have to apply the curiosity to the day prior, because in the moment you didn’t remember, and that’s totally okay. Just practice getting curious. Maybe bring that to your journal, and things will shift for you, and it is possible to feel better. There are many ways to receive help, whether it’s Keep [00:39:00] listening to this podcast, listen to my podcast, go and join Corinne’s membership, whatever it might be, something completely different, but there are so many ways to feel better. It’s possible.

Hugo: Wow, I got a little goosebumpy along the way there. That’s again. So eloquently put. Wow. Well, thanks for for. Yeah, well, that’s a perfect way to end this podcast. I feel. Thanks so much for for sharing your story and taking the time to to have this conversation with me.

Rebecca: Thank

Hugo: Before we, before we, uh, yeah, before we started recording, I was like, Hey, I got a dog here and she’s about to be a bit barky.

Uh, well, she has not barked a single time. Uh, luckily I’m looking over my shoulder. And she’s just sleeping really peacefully. So, uh, I guess you have that effect on, uh, on people, uh, at least on me, with your beautifully formed sentences. I’m, I’m a bit jealous.

Rebecca: Well, thank you so much and I do have that effect on animals Usually [00:40:00] I teach private yoga around here sometimes and whenever I go to people’s houses or they hear my voice in the background from my meditations they always tell me that their animals are always calm and peaceful and relaxed and everything.

So

Hugo: Wow. Awesome. All right. Well, um, well, thanks again. Um, for listeners or viewers, uh, yeah, do check out the description or show notes, uh, in order to reach out to Rebecca. I’m sure she’ll, uh, she’ll be open to that. Uh, thanks again. Uh, have a lovely day. It’s, it’s 2 PM now. Well, no, 2 45 PM, uh, in, in, uh, Connecticut right now.

Right.

Rebecca: Yes

Hugo: So, yeah, well enjoy the rest of your day.

Rebecca: Thank you. You too.

Hugo: and thanks again. See you in the next one.

Rebecca: Okay.

Hugo: Heh.

Well, there you have it. That was another episode of the Tracking Happiness podcast. Now, if you liked this episode, please leave a review of this podcast on the platform you’re listening to. It will really help me share these stories with more people. If you didn’t like this episode, [00:41:00] yeah, just disregard all that.

If you want to learn more about my guest, do check out any links in the notes below. Or if you want to be a guest on the podcast, please go to trackinghappiness. com slash share your story. And before you know it, you will help others overcome their own struggles of mental health. Lastly, I hope you have a great day wherever you are.

See you in the next one. Bye bye.