A Bipolar Diagnosis Finally Helped Me understand How To Be Happy In Life

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, I’m Emma and I’m originally from Providence, Rhode Island, and I received my degree in Integrated Marketing Communications from Emerson College, located in Boston, MA, in May of 2012.

I married my best friend, Adam, that same summer, and started a blog called Curves, Cats, and Creams, which focused on bridging the gap between straight size and plus size fashion. I’m so glad I had that journalistic experience because I get to use this experience in my work in fashion PR.

I’m happily married and mommy to 9 fur babies, kitties Guinevere, Felix, Oscar, Lucy, Ricky, Cosette, Hollyann, Magdalene, and Gavroche, I moved to NYC in 2019 in order to fully embrace all the opportunities the fashion industry has to offer.

I consider myself to be very happy. While I am blessed to have amazing family and friends, I also realized several years ago that I can choose to be happy even when my life is not going how I want it to be, which has made all the difference in how I approach life’s challenges.

What is your struggle and when did it start?

While I started to show symptoms of Bipolar Disorder (formerly called manic-depressive illness or manic depression, which is a mental illness that causes extreme swings in mood, energy, activity levels, and concentration) when I was 13, the doctors my parents took me to seemed reluctant to diagnose anything because I was so young and it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference between normal teenage moodiness and the symptoms of Bipolar.

Finally, three years later, a new doctor listened really carefully and asked lots of questions and said it sounds like I have Bipolar. Believe it or not, I actually got up and gave him a hug! I was so, so relieved that it had a name; everyone kept telling me I was fine and I felt like I was going crazy because I knew I wasn’t! I still thank God every day for him.

But that was only the beginning. The next step was to find the right medications and dosages, along with the right talk therapy, which is easier than it sounds. There’s no hard and fast rule about which meds to prescribe; it’s literally just trial and error.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

After I was diagnosed, it took another 3 years before I found what balance of medication and therapy worked for me. I had to try to keep my grades up and maintain my friendships while battling severe mood swings and extreme tiredness, in addition to all of the regular drama that comes along with adolescence.

And medication, even though it helps with the symptoms, is often not fun. I gained weight, I was really tired, and I sometimes felt like I had just exchanged one problem for another.

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Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

The turning point for me really came one day when I was whining to my dad about having to take these meds that made me fat and tired. Instead of saying “poor baby”, he looked me straight in the eye and told me I should thank God that there is medication for this.

While it stung a little at first, I understood that he was so right; if I had lived 100 years ago, I would have simply been put in a straitjacket and locked in an insane asylum for life!

After that night, my outlook changed dramatically. I realized that I could either let this diagnosis ruin my life or I could take charge of it, instead of letting it take charge of me.

That reversal in attitude literally changed my life. I now have a college degree (which I got while working full-time and planning my wedding), a very happy marriage (we just celebrated our 10 year anniversary), and a successful business, not to mention healthy relationships with my family and friends.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

First of all, speak up about what you’re feeling while you’re in the process of finding the right treatment for you. No matter how smart the doctors are, they cannot feel what is going on inside your body and mind. And they are not infallible!

Just because a person is wearing a white lab coat does not mean they know everything about everything. If you feel your doctor or therapist is truly not listening to you (assuming you’re communicating clearly), then find a new one. Don’t worry about “hurting their feelings”.

Secondly, find activities that distract you from obsessing about your mental illness. Thankfully, my high school had a very strong music program, which became my lifeline. I was in 3 choruses and also the marching band, and being part of those groups helped me to feel connected, building many strong friendships that have lasted to this day.

Finally, do not let yourself wallow in self-pity! “Mind over matter” is never more important than when dealing with a mental illness. Letting (yes, I said letting; it is a choice) yourself have a victim mentality is the worst kind of handicap because it stops you from getting better even when you have all of the tools and support in the world.

The most important thing in overcoming this is your attitude towards it. If you treat it like any other chronic condition, like diabetes or high blood pressure, it simply becomes a part of your life, not your whole life. Do what you have to do to treat it and then move on. Period. I’m not a Bipolar patient. I’m a multi-faceted person with a full, rewarding life who just happens to have Bipolar.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Since mental illness still has a serious stigma, I try to talk about it because I know the more silence there is around a taboo topic, the more fear and misunderstanding there is.

In fact, I’ve often compared talking about it to talking about sex, especially with young people. Talking about sex can be awkward, uncomfortable, and scary, which only leads to misunderstanding and people making bad decisions based on ignorance and misinformation. It’s the exact same with mental illness, and I realized the more I talked about it, the less scary it was!

First, more emphasis needs to be put into educating the general public about exactly what mental illness is. Again, the more you know, the less scary it seems. It doesn’t help that there’s no way to “prove” that you have a mental illness; there’s no X-ray, blood test, or MRI that definitively diagnoses it so people need to understand that it is a real medical condition and needs treatment just like any other condition.

Second, helping parents to spot the warning signs early, particularly if there is a family history of mental illness. Just like any other disease, catching it early leads to a much higher chance of successful treatment.

Third, talking about it in schools in a relaxed and ongoing way. Health class should definitely include a segment on mental health so kids can identify their feelings and learn how to talk to their parents or another trusted adult if they feel they need help.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

At the end of the day, no matter what the circumstances of your life, you can either choose to be happy or choose to be miserable. Choosing to be happy means making the best and the most of what you have been given. No one is ever “trapped” in their current situation. No matter how corny this will sound, there is always another option, a better path, and all you have to do is reach out and take it!

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

The majority of my Bipolar struggle came before the internet. Yes, there was a time before the internet, Lol), so my main resources were my doctors, family, friends, and church.

There were 2 books that really stuck out in my mind, although they had nothing to do with Bipolar.

Herland (1915) and its sequel With Her in Ourland (1916), both novels by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. Herland was based on a utopian society that proved how peaceful and prosperous the world could be if everyone worked together, and With Her in Ourland showed how the principles of Herland could be used to fix the broken society of the World War 1 era.

While they’re fiction, of course, there is not one single topic that could not be used to heal our world today, and with a lot less effort than we assume. I often find myself trying to apply the lessons they taught me to real life, especially thinking about what is best for my community, not just myself. Trust me, read the books (each is less than 200 pages) and they will change your life, no matter who you are.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

In June of 2015, I officially launched Medeiros Fashion PR, the first public relations firm in the US to specialize in the plus size fashion industry, after realizing that, out of the thousands of fashion public relations firms in the US, not one of them specialized in this exploding industry. Can’t have that!!! To me, fashion is simply fashion. Why should plus size fashion be just an afterthought when the majority of women in this country fall into that category? We want to be sexy, feminine, and fashionable, and designers, retailers, etc, are finally waking up to that fact!

With a mixture of class and sass, the goal of Medeiros Fashion PR is to place plus size fashion on an equal footing with straight size fashion. There’s absolutely no reason for them to be separate, and, once I accomplish that, I can die a happy woman!

And, apparently, the media agrees with me. I have both been featured in and contributed articles to multiple major media outlets, such as Yahoo and Marie Claire, as well as industry-specific publications like The Curvy Fashionista, Queen Size Magazine, and Cuvicality.

You can connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or reach out to me via email!

💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

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