When you don't get along with people, it can impact your career and relationships. If you don't make a concerted effort to get along with people, your social life will suffer. Ultimately if you don't get along with people, it will hurt your well-being.
I appreciate it can be challenging to get along with everyone. But when we master the art of getting along with others, we come across as mature, open, and approachable. We can improve our interactions with others with a few simple tweaks.
This article will discuss why it's essential to get along with people. We will also outline 5 ways to help you get along with people.
Why is it important to get along with people
If you don't try and get along with your colleagues, do you think they will see you as a team player?
Getting along with people and liking them are two different things. I'm not suggesting that you must like everyone, but when you learn to get along with people, you live a happier and more fulfilling life.
I didn't particularly like one of my friends' partners. We didn't get on. Neither of us tried to get on. I look back now and wish I had made more effort and been the bigger person. My inability to get on with this person caused rifts in my friendship. Eventually, the friendship ended.
There are some family members I don't have a great relationship with. But for the sake of others, I will make an effort if I am at a family event. It is not fake; it shows maturity to act civilly. This respectful attitude helps to promote everyone's enjoyment and ease at social events.
The personal benefit of getting along with people
According to this article, the secret to getting along with people is in our empathy levels.
When we empathize, we can see others beyond our constraints of ourselves. This approach helps us to know an individual and recognize their feelings and emotions in their natural state without putting them through the filter of our perspective.
Taking another perspective like this may seem obvious, but it’s extremely effective! When we focus on our similarities instead of our differences, it is easier to get along.
When we focus on the things that connect us to one another, it increases the sense of connectedness and positively impacts our well-being.
Ultimately, as outlined by this study, those who struggle in social settings are at greater risk of:
- Physical health problems.
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5 ways to get along with people
We could all be better at getting along with people in challenging situations. Now we know the benefits to our well-being, maybe it's time to learn a few tricks to improve our social skills.
Remember, getting on with people doesn't mean we have to become best friends. It is simply showing up in a situation with maturity and social intelligence.
Here are our 5 ways to help you get along better with people.
1. Learn the platinum rule
Most of us have learned to treat others as we would like to be treated. But this is outdated.
The platinum rule is to treat others as they would like to be treated. This approach accounts for individual differences.
Following this rule shows that you respect others for who they are. It helps us show dignity in the way we treat others. This straightforward technique will allow others to feel valued and seen. And as a result. they will respond favorably to you.
This rule may be an excellent strategy to implement in the workplace with your colleagues. For instance, you may think toilet humor jokes are hilarious. But if your colleagues don't respond well to them, it's time to figure out what sort of jokes they do appreciate.
2. Accept different opinions
We all like to be right.
But if you spend all your time arguing why you're right, you fail to listen. Instead, you just come across as obnoxious and arrogant.
It's not about right or wrong. Isn't it better to focus on learning from each other rather than trying to make others wrong?
When we accept that we all hold different opinions and embrace the idea of others with grace and acceptance, we provide an environment for others to feel safe in. This environment encourages them to be open with their opinions and ideas.
Accepting different opinions without trying to change them or make them wrong is an instrumental way to get along with people.
We can agree to disagree.
3. Find points of commonality
When we find commonalities with one another, it makes us easier to get along. This technique requires us to ask open questions and explores the interests and likes of others to find something to latch on to and explore further.
Consider these questions as a way to find some commonality.
- Do you play any sports?
- What job did you do before here?
- What did you study at university?
- What was the last film you saw?
- Do you like live music?
- Have you a pet?
- What are your plans for the weekend?
This communication paves the way for finding an easy conversation.
As a secondary benefit, these types of questions help us show an interest in another person. Showing interest in others is a sure way to help us get along with people.
4. Be positive and encouraging
When I think of all the people I have struggled to get along with, I realize they all have a few traits in common. The following characteristics are significant in preventing us from getting along with others.
- Irritability, grumpiness, or moodiness.
- Rudeness! (Manners go a long way.)
- Any derogatory behavior - sexism, racism, pronatalism.
- Negative attitude and being a naysayer.
I recognize that people with the above traits can experience a hostile world. They don't always realize they have a large part to play. But we can learn from them.
We make ourselves more likable when we adopt a positive demeanor and are encouraging and supportive of others. Ultimately we become easier to get along with.
Think of this difference between person A and B as they walk out of the office.
Person A: "Right, that's me off. Have a great weekend. Try to watch that film we talked about; I think you would enjoy it."
Person B: mumbles "bye.”
It's incredible how the attitudes of both people above can be infectious. Isn't it better to spread positivity and encouragement rather than grumpiness?
5. Be human
Remember, we are all human.
While I am not suggesting you reveal your inner vulnerabilities to everyone you meet, being vulnerable is cohesive.
When I speak to someone new at a party or a work event, I feel more drawn to those who dare to be vulnerable. For instance, they may confide in me that they felt daunted about coming to the event alone. Or they may tell me they've had a difficult couple of months.
This vulnerability invites a connection. It allows me to ask questions and recognize that the person standing before me is only human.
All too often, we go to networking type of events, and everyone wants to put their best self forward. While this is a necessary evil, it can sometimes rub people up the wrong way.
So, don't be afraid to be vulnerable with others. You may be surprised how they respond.
If you need more tips in this area, here's our article with 5 tips on how to be more emotionally vulnerable.
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People are complicated creatures. There is no hard and fast rule about who you will particularly connect with and who may repel you. But by using the tips discussed in this article, you will be able to get along with everyone, regardless of how you feel about them.
Do you have any other tips on how we can get on along with other people? When did you last overcome an initial awkwardness to really connect with someone? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below!