Welcome to another 'Bad day' post! I have created this post to honour my worst day ever. This day was a defining moment in my life, as it really opened my eyes on the principle of happiness.
I realised that life is not about great achievements, a successful career or money. No! The main goal of life should be happiness. Some people might achieve happiness through achievements, a successful career or money, but these things should not be the main goals.
The worst day ever
The 9th of February, 2015, was the worst day I experienced to date. I felt absolutely miserable on that day. It was all because I was stuck in an extremely demanding job, in a desolated area in a country that was completely new to me. As a result, I was not able to do any of my passions, which ultimately led me to the lowest happiness rating ever.
This miserable feeling was already present for a longer period, but was suppressed by occasional positive factors on my happiness. The 9th of February was the day that all the bad factors collided in a perfect storm, and I had no energy to deal with any of it.
I want to show you how I tracked my happiness during this day.
Below is the data that I entered in my personal happiness tracking journal. This is how I rated my happiness on this day.
Tracking Happiness data on 09-02-2015
|Date||February 9th, 2015|
|Comment||I'm shattered. I have never felt as depressed as I do today. What a miserable feeling.|
I can't keep up with this. I'm completely unhappy, and consciously counting down every second of every day. I wanna go home. I'm going crazy here. It's a miserable lifestyle.
I can't believe how anyone would voluntarily want to live this kind of life. Fuck this project. Fuck my employer. I'd rather not work at all, then to have this job for the rest of my life. It's unbearable.
I've got no passions. No enjoyment. No fulfillment. I honestly don't think I laughed even once this week.
I'm going to watch a series now (The Walking Dead has started again). And then I'm going to sleep. These days are worthless.
Just whatsapped with a friend I met in New Zealand, and it makes me think back of that wonderful country. I had such fun during that time.
I cannot think of ANYTHING more interesting to say... I just hate it here.
Message to future self: don't you EVER romanticise this period, you idiot! Don't ever say that this wasn't so bad after all. You DON'T want this, and you are absolutely MISERABLE!
Hence the 3.0, the worst happiness rating ever...
|Negative factors||Work, Tired|
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So I understand this type of journal entry really needs some context. I was working in Kuwait, on a huge project for my company. I have written more about the experience as a whole in the Monthly Happiness Reports, listed below:
- Too much work – Monthly Happiness Report – February, 2015
- Expat in Kuwait – Monthly Happiness Report – January, 2015
The excessive amount of work quickly drained my spirit. As a result, I had no time or energy to do the things that I actually liked at the end of the day. In addition, I failed to get my required sleep during this period as well, which got very bad as well.
These factors all combined and turned into something very depressing on the 9th of February.
The camel's back
My happiness was already very volatile during this period. What's actually interesting is that nothing exceptionally bad happened to me on the 9th of February. It was a normal day at work. A shitty one, but nothing that I hadn't experienced before.
I think that the camel's back finally broke on this day. Nothing crazily bad happened to me, but I still felt absolutely miserable. It could have been caused by the continuous work, or the total lack of passions. Or could it be the sleep deprivation? Either way, it was the final straw that broke the camel's back. It was too much for me to deal with.
As a result, I was not resembling the person I usually was. I felt completely worthless and empty inside.
What I have learned from my worst day ever
Looking back at it now, I am amazed at how much I got to write down my total hatred for this situation. I especially like the bit where I talk to my future self, which is basically me while writing this very post. I should never ever say "It wasn't so bad after all", according to my depressed and broken self. Well, I'm happy to report that I never did say that. I still know exactly how shitty the entire period was, because I was able to track my happiness during this period. I never romanticised this period in my life.
As a result, I have done my best to avoid any situation similar to this one. Mind you, I didn't go all out here. I didn't quit my job, and I didn't tell my employer to "F" himself. Not at all. Between this day and now, I've still worked on multiple projects abroad, working crazy hours as well. But I have learned how to better deal with these periods now. I now don't sacrifice my sleep and do my best to have at least one of my passions with me. It's what the worst day ever has thought me. It actually made me a better person.
And that's where this terrible day really changed my life. It made me focus so much more on the things that make me happy. I further optimised my method of tracking happiness, to always focus on what makes me happy. Because in the end, that's what it's all about.
I can honestly say that I'm grateful for my worst day ever. Partially because of this experience, I am now able to determine exactly what makes me happy, and what doesn't.
That's what I want to show the rest of the world via this site. I hope my worst day ever can somehow inspire you just enough to also start tracking happiness.
If you have any questions whatsoever, please leave a comment below! I'll gladly answer any questions you might have!
Bad days: In the ‘Bad days’ post series, I will highlight some of the worst days of my life. Not just any days, but the days where I tracked the lowest happiness ratings. I will detail some of the journal entries and happiness ratings on specific below-average days. The goal of this series is to show you how exactly I am tracking my happiness. In a best case scenario, it inspires you to determine the added value of tracking happiness and therefore start for yourself.