Episode #1: Andy Johnson

Hugo: [00:00:00] So I, um, welcome everyone to our viewers and listeners. This is the first tracking happiness podcast. Um, today I’m sitting with Andy Johnson. Um, so good to have you here, man. Thanks.

Andy: Thank you, Hugo. It’s good to be here.

Hugo: So it’s been a year since, uh, I interviewed you on, on the tracking happiness website, right? Um, and you’re actually, uh, the first to reply to my email about podcasts.

And now you are the first person to actually. You know, sit down with me and do this. So, yeah, no, that’s, that’s great. So to all listeners out there or viewers, um, this is also my first podcast. So things might be a bit choppy, uh, might be a bit awkward. Um, but that’s, that’s nice. I want to let this conversation flow in the direction it needs to go.

Um, it’s not scripted if that wasn’t clear by now. Um, so yeah, we’re just going to have a nice talk. Um, so the way I see this is as if you’re like, eavesdropping on an [00:01:00] interesting conversation. Um, so yeah, that’s it. Um, so Andy, first question for me, um, uh, who are you, uh, where are you from?

What do you do? Uh, how is it going?

Andy: so interesting story. I am from South Korea originally, but I was adopted at birth, um, to a nice family in the Wisconsin Valley area. So they’ve really helped me grow, helped me mold as a person. And I have a sister who is also adopted from Korea.

Hugo: Oh wow.

Andy: Um, not biologically related, but, uh, I’m still my sister and, uh, they really helped me grow, helped me form who I am as a person, um, inside and out.

And then they also helped me choose my path towards psychology.

Hugo: Oh wow. That,

Andy: Um, I was starting to go to school for music, but then after my accident, um, referenced in the news article, um, I chose the path of psychology because I wanted to learn more about the human brain.

Hugo: well, yeah, I [00:02:00] think we’ll get to that, to the accident that, that you’ve teased. But Wisconsin, that’s, that’s far up north, right? That’s near Canada.

Andy: It is, yeah. It’s two states away from Canada.

Hugo: So, so how far away are you from the border then?

Andy: Um, I think I’m personally about four hours, five hours from the border. From Duluth and, um, International Falls.

Hugo: All right. Yeah, it’s a big state, I guess. Yeah. So, so I’m from the Netherlands. If you travel four hours by car, you’re already way beyond the borders. You’re already in the second country over.

Andy: Oh.

Hugo: It’s, it’s funny though, because later today I’m doing a podcast with another person from Wisconsin.

Andy: Nice.

Hugo: It’s, it’s quite a coincidence, but no.

Yeah. So, so you mentioned the accident. Um, yeah. Tell me what, what, what’s, what’s the story? Good

Andy: so in 2007, um, one of my supervisors at work said, Andy, why don’t you [00:03:00] try running a half marathon, training for a half marathon? And I’m like, get out. There’s no way. I was, uh, chubby, um, 20 year old. And I was like, I was all out of shape. I can’t do this. And I thought again, like, wait, I can do this. I can put my mind to this and do that.

And. They, through their tutelage and just pushing, I gained the ability to work hard, uh, learn how to buckle down and lose a bunch of weight and ran a half marathon. And then two weeks after that, um, I started training for a 10K, 10 kilometer run.

Hugo: Yeah.

Andy: And during that training, I was hit from behind by a pickup truck as a pedestrian and totally rocked my world.

He was going 45 miles an hour. Which is about 90 kilometers an hour.

Hugo: That,

Andy: And, skidded on my face, lost a bunch of skin over here, um, just rocked my world.

Hugo: When I, when I saw your picture on, on the [00:04:00] original, on the original interview, so it’s up on tracking happiness. com. I like my jaw dropped to the floor. It’s like, uh, I can’t, I cannot imagine

Andy: said I probably wouldn’t walk again.

Hugo: yeah. Oh wow. So that was 17 years ago, you say um, like a truck hitting you from behind these trucks in the States, you know, like the, the, you’ve got the biggest trucks, the best trucks. Um, like those are brick walls practically. Right.

Andy: It was one and a half tons of pierced steel coming at me.

Hugo: Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. And you’re like from the back, you didn’t see it coming. Um,

Andy: looking at something that was in the ditch. And so he swerved into me without stopping or slowing down. So I got the full brunt of it.

Hugo: so, so, okay. So the moment of impact, what, what happens?

Andy: I flew up and over his truck, took off his side mirror with my head, and ended up skidding on my face. [00:05:00] I’m lucky to have a vision in both my eyes still. I’m lucky to have, um, my head intact. No major things. I had some stitches up here, which are hidden by my hairline. And, uh, my beard hides most of the scars, which is great.

So, uh, really unscathed physically, but I had a lot of psychological impact. And even now I still have some cognitive impact as well.

Hugo: Yeah,

Andy: It’s very minor compared to what could have been.

Hugo: that’s all right. So that it happened is like terrible, but to be able to walk away from that and to be able to, um, you know, do you believe in miracles? I don’t know, but this is pretty close to a miracle.

I would say.

Andy: Yeah.

Hugo: Did the truck driver stop and help you out though?

Andy: He did. Yeah, he stopped. And I remember someone screaming for help and sitting on me because I was [00:06:00] trying to get up and run away. In shock.

Hugo: Like, like get, get me out of here.

Andy: Yeah.

Hugo: Oh my

Andy: My pelvis was shattered. I couldn’t really do much, but he sat on me and held me down until help arrived.

Paramedics and firefighters and police and

Hugo: Yeah.

Andy: the whole bit.

Hugo: Oh my Lord. So. good on that though. Like you hear stories where that like hit and run

Andy: drive off

Hugo: just bolts. Yeah. Like that it

Andy: he was a good guy.

Hugo: Yeah. So, okay. So, um, 17 years ago, you’re still having cognitive, like the impact of it. You still like it impacts you right now.

Um, like, like the year after the accidents, um, like what did that look like?

Andy: It looked like a lot of, um, learning how to use my hands, learning how to, uh, um, do general rehabilitation. I was in physical [00:07:00] therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy for two years afterwards. And then a year after the accident, I had, um, mental health counseling because I realized that I needed help mentally. Um, I needed medication and I needed a therapist who understood where I was coming from.

Hugo: Oh wow. So that’s, that’s, that’s the journey. So that, that, like one single moment and you’re, and your life changes.

Andy: Yeah, I was studying to be a music teacher. That was my dream job, and I was set to transfer schools to a school where I was a little bit more able to spread my wings and succeed.

Hugo: yeah.

Andy: And that totally changed everything. Um, I went from being able to read music on multiple lines of music on a page, like a conductor’s score, to not being able to read music on my own saxophone.

Hugo: Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah.

Andy: That was, it would just blow my mind trying to read the music [00:08:00] and I’d have a panic attack. So, yeah.

Hugo: health stories. Like that’s the point of this podcast, right? To just get these stories out there because like mental health struggles are sometimes visible. Uh, also like invisible, like yours is a bit of both, I guess. Right. I suppose. Um, but then exactly, but that’s, that’s, that’s what I want to, I

Andy: it. Yeah, that’s mental health in a nutshell.

Hugo: So, so even though you’ve, you’ve, you know, like you’ve had this huge trauma, like physical trauma, um, that was just the, the, the, the, the first thing, right? And then the next couple of chapters were all mental, I suppose, weren’t they?

Andy: If they were, um, I did have about 15 surgeries to recover, um, various parts of myself and to put pins in and screws and plates and I most recently had an artificial, um, joint [00:09:00] fusion on my left ankle as a result of some of the issues that have gone on just sequelae to the initial trauma.

Hugo: Oh my Lord. As much as I want to try. I, I, I simply cannot understand , like to be able to go through that and be here and be, you know, living your life now, um, to make lemons out of lemonade, practically, or lemonade out of lemons.

Andy: and honestly, it wouldn’t change anything. I mean, it really taught me how to thrive in a very rough situation.

Hugo: Yeah. And,

Andy: me how to, I went from having no faith after the accident. I, my faith life and my spirituality struggled immensely. But then afterwards, I started to regain a lot of that again, and I started to regain my faith.

And that really helped me through.

Hugo: and yeah, so those are the things that I, uh, like these stories, reading the stories like yours is like. Like my jaw gets dropped to the floor about like what, what you’ve gone through, [00:10:00] but then to come out stronger, uh, and for you to say like, I wouldn’t change it or at least like, I wouldn’t go back. And like, am I happy with how it turned out?

That, that is inspiring. But I guess like you’ve had to climb mountains to be able to say that. Um,

Andy: Oh yeah, I’ve had to adapt.

Hugo: yeah. Yeah. So can you share a little bit about like what happened? Like some of the mental issues, like the mental struggles that came as a result of this, this accident. How

Andy: my mind was just fragmented all over the place when I had the accident. I had, um, fragmented parts of who I was. I, I was very suspicious of other people. Um, felt that my friends weren’t my friends and people were out to get me. I felt that my parents were Um, there to, uh, hold me down and not help me out.

They were trying [00:11:00] to protect me from myself. And I didn’t really see that at the time. And so I gave them so much grief during that time period. And I told them later on, I am so sorry for all the stuff I put you through. That was hard. Um,

Hugo: did they reply to that?

Andy: they were, they were overjoyed that I came to my senses. That I realized, hey, I screwed up and they’re trying to help me out in their own way.

Hugo: Yeah.

Andy: Um, to be able to really pour through and help myself. Even my sister was there to help me out through a lot of this. And just, you know, She’s always been one to push me through whatever I’ve been going through, um, and motivate me to be the better person or to strive to be on her level. Because whatever I could do, she could do 10 times better.

So it was always this healthy struggle between us on how we can outdo each other. that’s been [00:12:00] something that I have worked on. Um, really, Biggest struggle in my undergrad years was being able to forgive both myself, uh, for the things that I put people through, but also forgive the man who hit me.

Hugo: yeah, that’s another story, I suppose. Um, so, so I want to, I want, I kind of want to dive into both because like the first is, is I guess more. hidden, like forgiving yourself for putting others through something that you were like, you’re a victim here. All right. you didn’t choose to get hit by the truck.

Um, so

Andy: I didn’t choose it. I didn’t want to be the nasty jerk that I was to people. Um. But that was my brain.

Hugo: Okay, so basically your, your

Andy: brain.

had what’s called a contracoup head injury where it bounces forward and then bounces backward in the

Hugo: Yeah, that can’t be right.

Andy: the skull. Yeah. [00:13:00] And that’s why my behavior, everything was changed. I had a hard time thinking rationally. I had to learn how to do simple math again. And I had a professor and mentor in college, in the psychology department, who said, Andy, you’ve taken most of your undergrad prerequisites in psychology.

You might as well take a couple courses and see how it fits for you.

Hugo: Yeah.

Andy: And that’s when I really found my love of psychology, and then, in doing that and figuring out human emotion, I was able to understand and be able to forgive myself.

Hugo: So how, how long after the accident was this?

Andy: This was a period of two or three years afterwards. It took three years, um, to graduate from college after my accident.

Hugo: I

Andy: But I, I got, uh

Hugo: you

didn’t, even stop school after, like you just kept going.

Andy: poured through. I got an undergrad in [00:14:00] music and I got one in psychology.

Hugo: Yeah.

Andy: Two bachelor’s degrees.

Hugo: So, so, so you’re saying that like the, the things you learn at your like psychology classes and those things, they helped you understand like the impact that this had on your, on your cognitive abilities.

Andy: Most definitely. I took courses specifically in human behavior, human anatomy, and neuroscience.

Hugo: And, and so that helped you forgive yourself for putting others through like the same roller coaster as you were on, but basically, right?

Andy: those that were along for the ride with me. lost a lot of good friends along the way, and those friends that stuck by were the ones that really stuck through through thick and thin with me.

Hugo: Yeah. Oh, wow. And, and then the driver, um, the other, the other side of the story.

Andy: was, my rehabilitation psychologist helped me, um, just come to terms with my own [00:15:00] emotions and my own anger that I had about the incident. He was a rehabilitation psychologist and those are people who are familiar with disabilities and help people work through and navigate disability barriers, psychosocial aspects of disability, um, be able to function, be able to come to grips with their new self. And that combined with my faith life increasing helped me grow Go to that driver, to his face, and say, I forgive you.

Hugo: Wow.

Andy: That was powerful.

had, we shared a cry together, and we talked a little bit about our lives and how things have changed since the accident, because it impacted him too.

Hugo: ah, well, yeah, I’m like, it,

Andy: was huge for him. He was scared to drive for a long time afterwards.

Hugo: Wow. So, so how long after Jackson accident was that?

Andy: That was three years, [00:16:00] right before I graduated.

Hugo: Wow.

Andy: So, we were, we were at the school and he was at the school there, um, he was on staff and he, I knew right where he worked and I looked up his email address and I said, Hey, I’m Andy. Um, we have some history together, but I want to meet you and talk to you a little bit more, um, on a civil level.

Hugo: Yeah.

Andy: And he accepted that offer.

Hugo: Yeah. Yeah.

Andy: we met in his office, and I said, I forgive you, man. We hugged it out, we cried it out, and

Then we went our separate ways.

Hugo: That, that, that is powerful. Like for you to be able to say that, you know, after such an event

Andy: Yeah.

Hugo: for, for him to hear that after probably putting himself through like all these doubts and. Blame, blame, blame, pretty much. Wow, that’s, that’s really, really nice of you.[00:17:00]

Andy: Yeah.

Hugo: And, and during our interview you mentioned also people telling you stuff like, you know, just get over it, you know, you’ve already recovered, like just,

Andy: over it. You’re fine. You look fine. Why are you acting like a jerk? Why are you acting like a jerk? Like a maniac, or Can’t you just be the way you used to be? And that just wasn’t the case anymore. I’m a new person. And I have to come to grips with that and accept that that’s who I am.

Hugo: yeah,

Andy: And people need to accept me with my flaws and with my new gained strengths.

Hugo: yeah, and how did they react to that? Or like, how did you react to them saying such things?

Andy: I was angry at first. I was just furious. Because I, I can’t. I just can’t go back to the way I used to be. There’s no going back. And I think that that’s something that the new me [00:18:00] is here, the old me is gone. But there’s remnants of the old me that are still there. It’s not like I’m just a completely new me.

Yeah.

Hugo: not only are you having to deal with those struggles but then you’re also having to deal with comments like that. Like, like, I feel like right now you can understand why these people set such, such things like due to a lack of understanding or, you know, something like that.

But at the

Andy: become a better therapist. I worked now as a therapist in private practice and things have come full circle for me in my life.

Hugo: that’s the, that’s the bridge that I wanted to get to like, um, possibly the most inspiring part of your story is. Like, you’re, you’re a therapist, yeah,

Andy: I just made it full circle and now I’m helping people. I worked for the government for a while as a vocational counselor, helping people find jobs.

Hugo: yeah,

Andy: [00:19:00] And that was fulfilling for a little bit. Uh, but I wanted more, and so I took a job as a social security advisor to someone in, um, government and worked there for a little bit, and that was fun for a while. But I said to myself, you know, I can do more. I can spread my wings and own my own business and become an entrepreneur and help people through mental health struggles like I have been through.

Hugo: yeah, yeah, wow.

Andy: that, that just really appealed to me.

Hugo: And so none of that would have likely not happened had you not have gone through what you have gone through.

Andy: Right.

Hugo: Like, do you, do you think so too, or,

Andy: I do.

Hugo: like, or otherwise you would have found your way in that, in,

Andy: Otherwise, I probably would have been a middle school band director, and not really doing well, just kind of struggling to get by,

Hugo: Yeah.

Andy: not really finding passion.

Hugo: and now you do.

Andy: Now I have passion. I don’t [00:20:00] work anymore because I love what I do.

Hugo: And you cannot buy that, right?

Andy: No.

Hugo: So, so, um, just to recap, right? Like your story is like a roller coaster. Really? Um, 17 years ago, you get hit like by a terrible accident. You struggle with that. You have to regain your sense of yourself like your identity because it’s been scrambled like an egg after like three years you get to a point where you can actually forgive yourself and the driver and you found a Direction like a purpose to like hey this what I’ve gone through I can make it my strength in a way So inspiring Do you do, do you feel like that helps you be a better therapist?

Andy: Absolutely. know, it’s one thing to study what I’ve done, um, as far as psychology and have the book knowledge, but you gotta experience stuff in order to really [00:21:00] understand human emotion.

Hugo: Yeah.

Andy: Um, the best therapists usually have a therapist of their own, too. I found out they’re, they’re imperfect beings who don’t pretend that they’re perfect.

They are who they are and embrace it.

Hugo: This is something that I’ve, I’ve come to realize too. Um, like you, like TV has created this image that a therapist is this has it all figured out, um, and from that position, he’s able to steer you in the right direction, whereas, the therapist is only able to help you because he or she has the experience, has gone through the same issues, like, do,

Andy: It helps so much with empathy, yeah,

Hugo: So, so then to come back to what you were saying, like you, you wouldn’t change it. It’s

Andy: is so odd to say because [00:22:00] I’ve been through a lot of stuff, but it helped me find who I am, it helped me find my wife who has been my rock and been there through thick and thin with me. I met her before the accident even, and she even stuck through with me through my own flaws and my own ups and downs.

And, um, we got married in 2014 and she’s been there ever since.

Hugo: Wow. I have to catch your breath. Really? Like, is this, is this a lot for, for a first podcast? This is a hell of a story. Um, I have a, I have a couple of questions that are on the top of my mind. I can’t, I can keep asking you questions over and over and over again, but I have to contain myself in that sense.

Um, if, if someone were in the same shoes as you, um, what would be your biggest advice? [00:23:00] Hmm.

Andy: um, but know that there’s other people out there who have gone through similar paths and your path is different. path is one that you will walk alone for a little bit, but you don’t have to be alone. You’re, you have other people there who can help you.

So, and just know that you will This struggle that you’re on, this path that you’re on, isn’t something that you have to do alone. I tried to do my path alone, and it was hard.

Hugo: So

Andy: And it was, heck, every day trying to do this alone, and I didn’t rely on people who could help me. And I, pride got in the way. I’ll be quite honest, pride was a big fall for me, downfall for me.

Yeah.

Hugo: [00:24:00] basically like, I can deal with this on my own, I don’t need your help.

Andy: Yeah, to heck with everyone else, I got this, I can, I can be my own person, I can do things all on my own. We can, I kind of reverted back to that 5 year old that’s like, I can do this, let me just add it on my own,

Hugo: yeah,

Andy: and I had to surrender that part of myself and say, you know what, I can do this, I just need a little assistance, and that’s not a bad thing.

Yeah.

Hugo: yeah, yeah, ,

Andy: thing I would say is, when people tell you you should be a certain way or do a certain thing, I have the same advice that my sensei, um, Paul Harris, gave to me. Um, he said, do what you need to do, F everyone else. Quite simply, and as eloquently as possible, he said, F them.

Hugo: yeah.

Andy: don’t know your walk.

Yeah.

Hugo: So, so your [00:25:00] sensei, that, that’s like, uh, you mentioned it in your interview,

Andy: he was a big figure in my life, and he died really early on in, uh, my recovery. So he was there with me from the time I started college until about 2010. 2010, January 30th is when he passed.

Hugo: Huh.

Andy: Uh, very unexpectedly in his sleep.

Hugo: Oh, wow. Yeah. But he was there

Andy: was, that was tragic.

Hugo: to guide you through what had, what you had been going through.

Andy: the first non family person to come to my bedside. And he practiced something called Reiki, which is a natural healing art, on me with another student. Um, and my blood pressure was at that time 210 over 160. And after he did Reiki on me, it went down to 150 over 90, and then he did it a little longer and it was down to 120 over 75.

Hugo: Yeah.

Andy: he was able to lower my blood pressure [00:26:00] through this natural healing hands on art. we’re learning now as we study spirituality and we study medicine, um, that western medicine doesn’t have all the answers. There’s things that are, we just don’t know. We know that they are, we don’t know why they do things the way they do. We just know that they are.

Hugo: Like again, This is a topic that we can talk for hours about. I feel, I get a feeling. Um, well, yeah, I kind of want to bring it to a bit of a closing here. Where can people find you if they want to learn more or like,

Andy: yeah.

If they want to learn more about my story, I have more of my story posted on my website, uh, for my practice page. It’s, um, riseabovecounselingwi. com. They can learn a little bit more about me and my practice, um, who I am as a person. Um, and I have a Facebook page as well that they can reach out to me at, too.

Um, it’s the same thing, right? It’s Above Counseling WI, [00:27:00] that they can search for me on, and they can learn a little bit more about who I am. I have a public Facebook profile that I keep very professional, um, for the purposes of helping people learn about who I am and what I’m all about. Um, I’m also, if you, they go to Brainspotting.

com, that’s another modality that I use is Brainspotting to help people heal through trauma and heal through recovery like mine. Um, and they can find me there too, they can look my name up there.

Hugo: All right. Yeah. So, um, thanks for being here. Thanks for being the first person to get on this podcast with me. Uh, Yeah. Thank you for having me, Hugo. I appreciate it.

it’s been really nice just getting to see you, getting to talk to you about your story. Uh, what a, what a story, man. It’s, um,

Andy: it’s been a crazy ride, and it still is a crazy ride.

Hugo: , and, and that’s, that’s life in a way, right?

Like who knows what’s next um, but yeah, thanks for being here. It’s been, it’s been really nice talking to [00:28:00] you.

Andy: Thank you, it’s been a pleasure.

Hugo: right.

Well, there you have it. That was another episode of the Tracking Happiness podcast. Now, if you liked this episode, please leave a review of this podcast on the platform you’re listening to. It will really help me share these stories with more people. If you didn’t like this episode, yeah, just disregard all that.

If you want to learn more about my guest, do check out any links in the notes below. Or if you want to be a guest on the podcast, please go to trackinghappiness. com slash share your story. And before you know it, you will help others overcome their own struggles of mental health. Lastly, I hope you have a great day wherever you are.

See you in the next one. Bye bye.